AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Wine.” I sigh. There’s no use in being upset.
“Great choice! Oh, and I got some leftover weed from this morning. Could you roll it up while I look for the corkscrew?”
I shake my head, stopping it right before I tell Leah that I received an early acceptance letter from NYU, right before she tells me that I’m too pretty to go to college and should pursue modeling instead.
Opening my eyes, I realize I’m in Alcoholics Anonymous. On a Saturday.
It’s part three of “Share our Past” day since the last two sessions ran over by two hours.
I’ve admitted that I’m an alcoholic to myself, but I still don’t feel like I belong here—with people who just cry all the time. Nonetheless, I’ve gotten better about coming early to these silly little sessions. I’ve been setting out the chairs hours beforehand, writing words of inspiration on the dry erase boards, and buying refreshments for the group with my own money.
Last month, I asked everyone what their favorite coffee was, so I always stop by Starbucks and pick up personalized orders. Unfortunately, that nice and expensive gesture isn’t enough to get me out of coming.
I’ve already asked. Several times.
“So...” Our newest member, a girl who’s a few years older than me, starts to cry like she’s at a funeral. “So, my mom was my best friend. We did everything together. Parties, drugs, drinking—especially drinking...”
“Calm down,” Tim says. “It’s okay. Take your time.”
“She gave me my first beer when I was thirteen and it was gross, but after I had a few more I got hooked. It wasn’t bad for the first few years, but when I turned eighteen it got even worse. I had to drink every day...I needed it. We both did. Alcohol got us through when life was kicking our asses...”
I roll my eyes. I don’t want to hear this crap.
“She got me a fake ID at fifteen so I could join her at smoke bars. She encouraged me to lose my virginity to this guy who didn’t care about me just because she said it would feel good, because she said I should go ahead and get it out of the way. She said guys really liked the experienced girls...”
“Did you two ever talk about anything serious with each other? Your feelings?” Tim passes her a Kleenex.
“No.” Her chest is heaving. “Every time I came to her in tears, she would try and distract me. She never held me. She never consoled me. She’d just tell me to suck it up and pass me a beer...Or she would tell me to dry my face and put on more makeup.”
I stand up and grab my purse.
“Going somewhere, Emerald?” Tim looks up at me.
“Restroom,” I murmur and make a dash for it. I check all the stalls before locking myself inside and splashing my face with cold water.
I decide to stay in here for at least twenty minutes because I don’t want to hear the rest of that pathetic girl’s story. As a matter of fact, I’m going to suggest she join the secondary AA group once today’s meeting is over; that’s where all the crybabies with mommy issues belong.
Forty more days...Forty more days...
There’s a sudden knock at the door and I take a deep breath before opening it.
It’s the crybaby.
“Hey...” I let her in.
“Hey.” She sniffles. “Tim just wanted me to make sure that you hadn’t left early.”
“Of course he did.”
She walks over to the sink and pulls several Kleenex from a box. “How come you never share anything with us, Emerald?”
“You’ve only been in the group for three weeks. How do you know if I share or not?”
“Everyone knows you don’t share. After every meeting someone always says, ‘I wonder when Emerald is going to share,’ so that clearly means—”
“It means it’s no one’s goddamn business.”
“I wasn’t trying to offend you.”
“Well, you did.” I roll my eyes. “Since there’s an AA gossip group, you can tell them that I don’t share because I’m trying to actually take responsibility for being a drunk in the past, unlike the rest of you. No one forced you to drink. Your mom didn’t hold a gun to your head and force you to down those beers. You chose to, and the sooner you wake the hell up and realize that you are the reason why you’re here, the sooner you’ll get out.”
“I’m not blaming my mom for anything.” Her voice is suddenly cold. “She was lost and she didn’t know how to help me, so she did the best she could. Her best just wasn’t good enough. That’s why she’s in prison and I’m in here. With you.” She steps closer to me and narrows her eyes. “It was your mother wasn’t it? Is that why you walked out during my story? Did it sound too familiar?”
