Page 86 of Rich Little Liars

Absolution I don’t deserve.

Because here’s the truth – the real truth, the one I can barely admit even to myself:

I’ve got away with it.

Harvey is dead. Whatever evidence he gathered, whatever accusations he planned to make, they’re buried with him in the ruins of my old life. The police see me as a victim, not a suspect. Detective Kirsch looked at me with sympathy, not suspicion. The investigation into Daniel’s death remains closed, ruled accidental, no further questions to be asked. Kelly Reynolds, tragic widow, terrorised by a disturbed officer, survivor of yet another catastrophe.

The narrative is complete.

The secret is safe.

And sitting here in this hospital room, with his love offered freely despite everything I haven’t told him, I feel something I haven’t felt in months.

Relief.

Pure, overwhelming, shameful relief.

I didn’t start that fire. I didn’t kill Daniel. But I stood and watched while he burned, and I felt glad, and that’s a truth I’ll carry with me forever. A truth that Richard is offering to let me keep, locked away where it can’t hurt either of us.

Is that wrong?

Is it wrong to accept his grace without earning it? To let him love a version of me that’s incomplete, edited to hide the ugliest parts?

Maybe.

Probably.

But I’m so tired of carrying it all alone. So tired of the weight and the fear and the constant vigilance. And here is this man – this kind, patient, impossibly good man – offering me something I never thought I’d have again.

A future.

A chance.

A life that isn’t defined by one terrible night and the choices I made in its flames.

‘Okay,’ I say softly.

‘Okay?’

‘Okay. I’ll try. To be happy. To… how did you put it? Let the past stay in the past?’ I squeeze his hand, feeling the warmth of him, the solid reality of this moment. ‘I can’t promise I’ll succeed. I can’t promise the guilt won’t eat me alive some days. But I’ll try.’

‘That’s all anyone can do.’ He tugs gently on my hand, pulling me closer. ‘That’s all I’m asking.’

I lean forward, careful of my shoulder and his bandages, and rest my forehead against his. We stay like that for a moment – breathing the same air, existing in the same space, two damaged people finding something worth holding on to in the wreckage of everything else.

‘I went back for him,’ I whisper. ‘Harvey. When the house was collapsing. I could have left him there, but I went back. I tried to save him.’

Richard pulls away just enough to look at me. ‘You did?’

‘I couldn’t get the timber off him. The house came down before I could free him. But I tried. I—’ My voice breaks. ‘I tried.’

Understanding dawns in his eyes. He doesn’t know the full context – doesn’t know about Daniel and the relief I felt while he burned – but he understands enough. Understands that this matters. That something shifted in those final moments, in that collapsing basement, when I chose to go back instead of walking away.

‘I’m proud of you,’ he says simply.

Four words. Nothing elaborate, nothing profound. But they nestle somewhere deep inside me, in a place that’s been hollow for a very long time.

I smile.