Page 66 of Be More Capybara

‘Other than a desire to keep my dignity.’

‘Dignity’s very overrated in my opinion. Do you want me to buy you a giraffe so you can join in?’

‘I’ll pass. Unless you’re offering to buy me a tiger. Then I might be persuaded.’

He shouldn’t have suggested that. Judging by the look on Helen’s face, she was giving the idea serious consideration.

He spotted the sign for the capybaras. They might save him. ‘Time to visit your favourite zoo residents,’ he said, leading her up the slope towards the pen.

‘Shit!’

Nigel caught Helen as she stumbled into him. He quickly backed off. ‘Are you ok?’

‘Yes. But look at my phone!’

Nigel followed her gaze. It was now lying face up on the grass inside the capybara enclosure.

‘I caught my toe on that bloody slab.’

‘The sign said the path was uneven.’

‘Thank you for that marvellous piece of advice, Nigel. But I didn’t see it.’

It was the first time she’d ever been sharp with him. Her tone reminded him of Madison.

Helen must’ve noticed his expression. ‘Sorry for snapping, I’m so stressed out with this damned contract.’

She wasn’t being like Madison then. Madison never apologised.

‘The carpet fitter was supposed to be coming this morning, but there’s no sign of him.’

‘How much does it matter?’

Helen huffed. ‘Flooring is a pre-requisite for all the other finishing touches.’

He wanted to hug her and say it would be ok, but he could understand why she might not buy into that, and much as they’d seemed a lot closer since the Adrian break, he wasn’t sure she was ready for spontaneous cuddling.

‘And now I can’t chase him up because my phone is on the wrong side of a five-foot fence.’ She started walking along the edge of the enclosure.

‘Where are you going?’

‘To that information board there. I should be able to use that to give me a boost.’

‘A boost for what?’

‘To get over the fence,’ she said as if it were obvious.

‘But there are wild animals on the other side of the fence.’

‘Do they look wild?’ She pointed to the three oversized guinea pigs lying peacefully by the pond in the corner of the enclosure. ‘Capybaras are famous for their docility.’

‘What if you annoy one of them? Those enormous teeth could take a huge chunk out of your leg.’

‘I’ll take the risk. I’ll be in and out in seconds. It’s not as if they’re lions.’

‘Would that stop you?’

‘Probably not,’ she said as she strode purposefully towards the board. ‘This client is a pain in the arse. Being eaten alive by lions would be less painful than explaining why they can’t have their furniture delivered tomorrow.’