Page 17 of Perfect Chaos

Chapter Eleven

Gavin

I am not very proud of how I reacted to everything that happened. I’ve been pretending all week that it didn’t happen. If I am being honest, it’s more of an elaborate game of avoiding my problems like they don’t exist. Atlas and I have worked together every day this week like everything is perfectly normal. We have been working from home for the most part but had to go into the office today to talk to a few clients in person. Atlas hasn’t brought it up and I refuse to be the first one to talk about it. I chalk it up to us all being really drunk. That's the only explanation I can come up with.

Maizyn is an entirely different story. It's like the Cold War with her. We avoid each other at all costs, trading snide remarks and middle fingers whenever our paths are forced to cross. I can’t fucking help it. My body is drawn to her, but I can’t be around her without replaying everything about the other night. I seem to be making a series of dumbass decisions when it comes to that girl. I think about my lips against hers from breaking her out of her panic attack. It should have been platonic, yet the simple act set off fireworks inside of me. Then there is the fact that I watched Atlas fuck her in his kitchen. I should have left the moment I saw them, but I couldn’t. She is always so captivating. Add in the other night, and I am absolutely fucked. I don't know what Atlas’ agenda was, but if it was to torture or punish me for something, he succeeded. The moment she stripped down to nothing, I was done for. It didn’t matter that I was handcuffed; I wouldn’t have left the room even if I wasn’t forced to stay there. Not sure what that says about me, nor do I want to figure that out right now. I tried acting unaffected. Unfortunately, the massive tent in my sweatpants was a dead giveaway. I don’t know what I expected Atlas to do next, but dropping her on my lap was the last thing on the damn list.

It’s all I can think about lately. The way my dick nestled perfectly between her round ass cheeks, the way she shifted and wiggled against me as Atlas brought her closer and closer to her release, every breath and moan she made. It was frustrating that I couldn’t touch her, and it pissed me off even more that I wanted to. I shouldn’t want to; she is not mine to want. SHE IS NOT MINE, no matter how bad I wish she were. Watching the way she reacted to Atlas was mouth-watering. And when he pushed inside of her? I was done for. She gripped my shoulder like she had every right to. Her fucking moans- god, she moaned directly in my ear like each sound she made was for me. I have been surviving the past week by avoiding her whenever I can, being an asshole to her when I do see her, cold showers way more than I should, and fucking my fist when the shower proves to do nothing to help. All for a girl that I shouldn’t want anything to do with.

I’ve been working on that project Ramos asked me to look into whenever I have the time. I am not as far into it as I would like to be. It’s hard to focus on it when my mind wanders to forbidden topics instead. Maybe I just need to get laid. My phone beeps with a text notification, breaking me from my thoughts. It’s Ramos. I was expecting this text, but I wish I had more information for him by now.

Ramos: Update?

Gavin: I am working on it. It’s a bit more in-depth than I expected.

Ramos: Can you do it?

I hate that I let myself get distracted to the point where Ramos doubts my work.

Gavin: Of course I can do it.

Ramos: How much longer?

Gavin: A week, max, for everything you need. But it might be faster if you could answer a few of my questions?

Ramos: Not here. Switch to the encrypted messaging app.

Gavin: Not my first rodeo.

I switch over to the encrypted app and click on Ramos’ screen name. It’s not hard to find, as he is the only person I use this app to talk to.

R: What do you need?

G: Can you give me insight on who I am hacking so I have a better guess at the type of firewall I am up against? Whoever did it is good. I’ve broken through two layers already, but every time I create a back door to get in, another wall pops up.

R: Vincenzo Zanelli

G: The fucking mafia boss?

R: Do you know anyone else with that name?

G: Fuck. This is way bigger than I thought.

R: Is it too much for you?

G: You know I will always have your back.

R: I know it’s a big ask. I wouldn’t ask you if it wasn’t personal. How far are you with everything?

G: I scanned through everything you sent over and unencrypted most of the email accounts you listed but didn’t find anything worth noting in those. There were a few shell companies that I uncovered but they are heavily protected. What exactly am I searching for? If I can narrow down what I am actually looking for, I can probably find it faster.

R: Looking for signs of a hit or any kind of contract for a kidnapping. Anything that may hint to money being transferred for a job that paid a shit ton of money.

G: That definitely narrows it down. You said it was personal. Are you in trouble? Who was kidnapped?

R: I am fine. My brother's girl was kidnapped and they are hunting down whoever pulled it off. It was a crew of five and they think Vin's crew was in on it. Sometimes he loans his men out for hire.

G: Okay. I will keep working on it and send over anything I find that I think might be helpful. Just do me a favor?