Page 55 of Perfect Chaos

The sun rises and sets again without any changes. The hours are passing agonizingly slowly. It's Gavin's turn to sleep again. I have my head lying on Maizyn's knees, tracing lazy circles across her thigh. My eyes start to drift closed, the lack of sleep weighing on me. Right before I am fully asleep, I feel her fingers run through my hair. My entire body goes rigid. I think I'm imagining it. But as I rise back up in my seat, her eyes flicker open. For the first time since being here, I feel like I can finally breathe again. Thank fucking God.

Maizyn

I know the lights are too bright before I even open my eyes. The fluorescent beams burn my eyes even more as they flutter open, the insistent beeping dragging me awake. The scent of orange, clove, mint, and eucalyptus permeates the air, coaxing me to wake up. I take stock of my body. Everything aches. I feel a weight on my lap. Assuming it’s one of the boys, I run my fingers through their hair instinctively. My entire body stiffens as the last twenty-four hours flash in my mind. I try sitting up in a panic, instantly regretting it as an intense stabbing pain in my side causes me to yelp.

“Take it easy, Chaos, before you hurt yourself more. Let me help.”

My eyes well up with tears as they connect with Atlas' blue ones while he helps me sit up in the bed. The joy only lasts a few seconds when I don't see Gavin. I frantically glanced around the room. I hear the machine reading my heart rate, beeping faster and faster as my panic rises. “Where is he? Where is Gavin?” I force the words out even though they feel like glass cutting my throat.

“He is asleep in the chair in the corner. He's okay.” His words have the desired effect, calming me as I recline back against the pillows. Atlas grabs a glass of water from the side table and brings the straw to my lips. I gulp the ice-cold water down, like it's the best thing on earth, feeling the coldness drop all the way down my esophagus into the bottom of my stomach.

“Slow down. I don't want you to make yourself sick.” He puts the cup back on the table next to the bed, making sure I'm comfortable.

“How long was I out?” My throat still feels scratchy, but it doesn't hurt that much anymore. My voice comes out as more of a croak.

“You got out of surgery yesterday. You were asleep for over twenty-four hours. The doctor had to remove a bullet from your side.”

My fingers trail over the bandage at the same time I nod my head in response. I wanna be upset, but how bad is a bullet in the side when I would have willingly put one in my head? That's not exactly something you can say to someone who would be destroyed by your death. Atlas must sense my discomfort, grabbing my hand and pulling my attention back to him.

A nurse comes rushing into the room in a panic. “Is everything okay in here? Her machine was going off?”

“She woke in a panic but I was able to calm her back down,” Atlas answers for me without looking away from me.

“I’m glad you were able to calm her down, but I still need to check her vitals just to make sure she is doing okay. She was asleep for a while. It’s just a precaution.” Her voice is too cheerful for my migraine. I squint my eyes closed at the sound of her voice.

“What’s wrong?” Atlas notices immediately.

“It’s just a migraine, Atlas. I’m okay.” I wince as I adjust in the bed for the nurse to take my temperature.

“We can give you something for pain. On a scale of one through ten, one being mild and ten being the worst pain in the world. Where are you at?” She points to a chart on the wall depicting a pain scale.

“I don’t know, maybe a six?”

“Okay. A six is to be expected right now.” She walks to some type of cabinet near the door, scans her badge to unlock it, pulling out something I can’t quite see. “Here, take this.” She holds out a white pill in a tiny plastic cup.

I take the pill from her and dump it into my mouth. Atlas hands me the glass of water again to wash it down.

“Hey Chaos, are you going to be okay if I step out of the room to make a quick call while the nurse checks your vitals? You will be able to see me just out the door.” The way he says it, I know he would stay with me if I told him not to leave. His words are laced with so much love and concern.

“I think I can manage.”

He presses a kiss to my forehead, then rises from the chair and heads out of the room. True to his word, he stays in my eyesight the entire time he is on the call. The nurse does her job quickly. She checks my blood pressure and oxygen levels, telling me both look great. Atlas walks back into the room just as she finishes changing my bandage. I refuse to look at it right now. I don’t want to see how ugly and broken my body looks in this condition.

Atlas sits on the edge of the bed, blocking my view of the door as he assesses me from head to toe. Something in his demeanor has shifted since the time I woke up. I can tell he is up to something; I just can’t tell what. A knock at the door pulls me from my thoughts. I try to peer around Atlas to see who it is, but he purposefully blocks my view.

“What are you hiding? Who’s at the door?”

“I know you're probably not in the mood for any visitors. But someone is here to see you, if that's okay?”

I raise an eyebrow at his response. I have absolutely no idea who he could be talking about because the only two people who I can think would want to visit me in the hospital are already in this room.

Atlas slides from the edge of the bed to the chair again, finally moving out of the way. I look towards the door to see short, curly grey hair that I would recognize anywhere. Tears well in my eyes, my heart squeezing while I’m in the process of profusely wiping them away. I didn’t realize how big a place in my heart is reserved for her until now. I feel the smile stretch across my face; Atlas rises from the spot next to me, offering his seat to Mrs. Carter. I didn't expect my heart to feel so warm at seeing her. She brushes the hair from my face, planting a red lipsticked kiss to my cheek, like a grandma would do. Then she takes a seat in the chair.

“Oh, sweetheart. I would ask how you were, but I could imagine your answer.” She grabs my hand, giving it two small squeezes before patting the top of it with her other hand.

“I’m doing better than a person in my situation should be.” I try to give her a reassuring smile, but it feels awkward on my face.

My eyes move away from her and focus on the corner of the room where Atlas is waking Gavin up. Gavin startles awake but relaxes as soon as his brown eyes meet mine. Atlas whispers something that I can’t hear from where I am as Gavin stands to his feet and heads towards me.