Page 86 of Just for the Season

‘Of course.’

‘Sam, go and play on the PlayStation,’ Ruby tells him.

Sam leaps to it.

‘Sit down,’ Ruby commands, gesturing at the kitchen table.

I leap to it too.

‘Are you happy?’ she asks when we’re sitting facing each other.

‘Yes. I lived through a couple of hours of incredible terror last Saturday and I am ecstatic to have you safe and sound.’

‘Yeah. Good. But, also, are you more generally happy?’

‘Um?’ I have to say: this is a weird experience. I am the parent; she is my child. Right now, though, it’s like she’s trying to switch things round.

‘Today,’ she continues, ‘when you dropped me off at the café, and when you picked me up, you just sat in the car staring straight ahead.’

That is correct. I nod.

‘Why?’ she asks.

‘No reason to turn my head.’ I sound weirdly like a grumpy teenager, not cool.

‘Obviously—’ Ruby will apparently not stop ‘—it was to avoid looking at Frankie. And remember, you think we should be honest with each other.’

I nod, trying not to look teenage-petulant this time.

‘So do you miss Frankie?’

‘Well.’ I need to be honest. It feels like my relationship with my daughter is at stake. ‘Yep.’

‘Why?’

Oh, God. I do not want to have this conversation.

‘Because… I was spending a lot of time with her and now I’m not.’

Ruby raises her eyebrows. ‘Do you miss your friends, like when we go on holiday with your uni friends and their kids, do you miss them when we get home?’

‘That’s different.’ I’ve gone petulant-teenager again.

‘I feel like you really, really love Frankie and aren’t going to get over her for a very long time.’

I say nothing.

‘Libby agrees,’ Ruby says.

‘Right.’ I’m so pleased that my fourteen-year-old daughter and her best friend are discussing my personal life.

‘You know what you said about Mum. Frankie told me just before you arrived at Heathrow that her mum basically did the same to her. It made me think.’

I nod.

‘Basically,’ Ruby says, ‘I think I was being selfish. I think if you love Frankie you should get together.’

‘What?’ I ask.