Page 104 of Point of Contact

“Thanks. So do you.”

“How are you doing?”

Trevor sipped his coffee, peering at Carl to gauge his interest. His face held a reassuring mix of sincerity and openness, so Trevor put his cup down and said, “It’s a process.” He told Carl about Hawaii and the reason for going, leaving out his and Jesse’s relationship. “It helped, taking that trip. I was able to find some...” He broke off, searching for the words.

“Closure? I told you—”

“No, not closure,” Trevor interrupted. “More like hope, maybe a little peace. You know? It’s a start.”

“It is.” Carl reached over and touched Trevor’s arm. “I realize I don’t have any right to say this, but it makes me happy to see you doing better.”

Trevor covered Carl’s fingers with his own. “Ditto,” he said softly.

“I’ve wanted to call and see how you are, but I wasn’t sure if you’d talk to me. When I couldn’t find the books, well, it gave me a reason to see you.”

Squeezing his hand, Trevor said, “You don’t need a reason to call, Carl, and as far as I’m concerned, you have every right.”

“Oh, Trev—”

“Hey. You were there for me during the darkest days of my life, and I will always love you for that.”

Carl blinked rapidly, his lips trembling. “I’m so sorry. I wish we—that you—aww, shit.”

“I understand,” Trevor said gently. I’m not the same person I used to be, and that’s who you loved. He squeezed Carl’s hand one more time before releasing him. “Would you like to stay for lunch?”

Carl wiped his eyes on a napkin and shook his head. “I can’t. I’m meeting someone in an hour.”

“Okay. How is Greyson?”

Trevor was amused to see a tinge of red appear high on Carl’s cheekbones.

“He’s, uh, fine, thanks.” A pause. “I wasn’t aware you knew about him.”

Snorting, Trevor got up to walk him to the door. “Lyle and Bill can’t keep anything to themselves to save their lives; they’re the biggest gossips in town.”

Carl gave a watery chuckle. “Yeah, that’s true.”

They headed to the garage and Trevor keyed in the code to open it, waiting while Carl picked up his box of books and stowed it in his trunk. He slammed the lid shut, came around to where Trevor stood and held something out. Trevor opened his hand and Carl dropped the house key into it.

“Thanks.” Trevor stuck the key in his pocket, and they shuffled their feet awkwardly until Trevor stepped forward and stood on tiptoe to kiss Carl’s cheek. “Take care of yourself, Carl. It’s really good to see you. I mean it.”

“You, too. And if you ever need anything, please don’t hesitate to call. Okay?”

“I won’t.”

After he’d driven off, Trevor closed the garage and headed to the backyard to finish putting the lawn tools away, the memories welling up—of weeping in Carl’s arms half the night because the stress of keeping it together during the day was overwhelming, the way he’d listened to Trevor’s rages against fate, against God, against the Army, against Riley himself with tears on his own cheeks. He’d endured mood swings, breakdowns, hopelessness...

“I guess ‘for better or worse’ doesn’t apply to him, huh?”

“Oh, Jess. If you only knew,” Trevor said to the empty backyard.

He hoped Carl was finding some happiness in his new life, because he deserved every bit of it and more.

Later that afternoon his phone rang, and Trevor grabbed for it.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” Jesse’s voice sounded harried. “Karen’s mom is gonna be okay.”