Page 13 of Brought By the Storm

I laughed. “And humility.”

“Said the man who fancies himself a god,” he countered. “But may I ask you? If you can have an attraction to a man, why wasn’t it with me? We already had the emotional connection, and I have been told I’m quite fetching.”

“Mothers don’t count,” I joked. He didn’t laugh. “Okay. It’s a fair question. You are very handsome. I’m not blind. I’ve been quite envious over the years. Even Eric said you could be a model.”

“Did he?” he asked with some surprise. “I didn’t think he could see anyone else in the room when you were in it.”

I smiled. I didn’t want that to make me feel warm inside, but it did. “He said we both could be models.”

“Hmm. So, he fancies himself a three-way, huh?”

I could feel my cheeks flush at the notion. “He strikes me as way too shy and innocent to think such things.”

Stefan laughed. “He’s a man. There’s no such thing as a guy who doesn’t think about sex. My guess is, he wanked himself to sleep last night picturing himself in a Carrington-Stefan sandwich.”

“I’m sure I don’t know what that is,” I lied. “Your nasty cravings would have sunk us if your snoring didn’t.”

Stefan just laughed louder. “Please. You forget what you’ve told me regarding your thoughts about some of the women you’ve dated. I dare say relating the desires you had would make most members of proper society squirm.”

“Because they’d be trying to hide their arousal,” I shot back.

“Okay, forget what you think Eric wants. Tell me, how did he find the valve that opened the flood of these feelings?”

I knew the underlying question remained why I wasn’t attracted to Stefan. “I meant what I said. You are a handsome man. You are more attractive than I. I’m not sure why Eric isn’t more drawn to you than me, especially if what they say about gaydar is true.”

“It isn’t,” he answered.

“Be that as it may,” I continued, “I can appreciate your physical attributes, but they don’t affect me the way Eric’s do. Please don’t take offense. From a technical perspective, I would say that you are more attractive than him.”

“But?”

“But I guess I’m not drawn to other men that look like me. I haven’t been drawn to other men, period. Eric—I can’t figure it out. It is confusing and quite scary,” I admitted.

“Is it his personality?”

I contemplated the question. “There is something quite endearing about his kindness, his vulnerability, and his demeanor. And when I look at him, I find him to be adorable. I just can’t picture myself being amorous with a big, hairy, alpha male.”

“Is that your way of explaining why you weren’t attracted to me?” he deduced.

I grinned. “I guess. You and I are of like builds and temperaments. It just isn’t what I picture for a romantic partner. I’m sorry. Am I offending you?”

“I guess not,” he conceded. “I understand. You like twinks.”

“I do not. I may not be a homosexual, but I know what a twink is. I don’t want an androgynous, wispy, fragile male that resembles a child. Eric isn’t a twink. Yes, he’s a good deal younger, but he’s well-built and masculine, albeit in a gentler quieter way. But along with compact muscle, he has a sweet, emotive face, smooth skin and a dignified beauty.” Stefan was silent, so I looked over to him, and he appeared to be in shock. “What?”

“You’ve got it bad for him,” he murmured.

“I do not,” I protested. “This is a momentary fascination, and it will be gone as quickly as it came. The sooner we leave the United States, the better.”

Stefan didn’t look convinced. “I agree with you about one thing. We need to leave. In the meantime, you need to avoid Eric. We can’t have him telling reporters that you had a thing for him.”

“He wouldn’t do that,” I argued.

“You don’t even know him well! The fact that you keep projecting sainthood on him tells me that you are in denial about the extent of your attraction to him. Just heed my advice and stay clear of him until we’re out of here.”

I felt compelled to defend Eric further, but that would validate Stefan’s conclusions. Instead, I nodded in agreement.