Page 137 of Love Unspoken

"But he did it."

"From what he's told me, he has two older brothers who could take care of the family business. Lucas is the only son. Also, compared to the Caldwells, the Covingtons are an older, wealthier, and more prominent family. The pressure on Lucas must've been and probably still is immense." Basil picked up his port and drank a little.

"He never told me."

"He probably didn't want to hurt your feelings 'cause you can be sensitive about this shit." I gently kicked Basil, and he held my offending foot down. "I think not standing up against his mother was how he kept the peace because if he let her do that, he could have you."

I'd never considered that, and it made me wonder what it said about Lucas and me that our communication was so poor. Maybe it was fitting that we weren't together. I hadn't told him how much his mother hurt me, and he hadn't shared what he was dealing with on the family front.

"When you said you wanted to leave him because of what you heard, which you were right to do, he caved."

I let out a deep breath. "He hurt me."

"And himself."

"He said he loves Kath and not me."

"Easier to let you go if he believes that."

"I hate this psychology shit."

Basil laughed. "Don't hate me because I'm smart."

"What do you think he wants now?"

"He wants you back."

"There were too many things against us and that has not changed. We apparently sucked at communicating what we were going through. His family hates my guts."

"Except Rena," Basil pointed out. "She hooked you up with Jax."

"Right. But that woman scares the bejesus out of me."

"She's intimidating," Basil agreed. He'd encountered Rena Covington at university fundraisers.

"What do you think I should do?"

Basil shook his head. "I can't tell you, Sunshine. I am just telling you what I think is going on. You have to figure out what you want."

I pulled my legs up and leaned my chin on my knees. "I don't know what I want."

"Yes, you do. You're afraid to want it, but what you want is to go back in time and be with Lucas like none of this happened."

I sighed. My friend knew me very well.

"But wanting what was in the past is not going to take me into the future," I remarked. "I'm going to think about it."

"Yeah, and while you're at it, you shouldn't eye fuck Lucas quite so blatantly when you do."

"I did not eye fuck him." I picked up a cushion and threw it at Basil.

He laughed as he caught it and threw it back at me. "All through dinner. I thought you were going to drag him into your bedroom."

I hugged the cushion. "He looked delicious. And he smelled so good. I miss sex."

"Just sex?"

"I miss sex with him," I admitted wanly.