Page 112 of Here We Go Again

I tug Becca into a hug and take the time it buys me to school my features. I don’t want to be anything but happy about this, not when she’s clearly thrilled by the news. But I can’t shake the uncertainty I’ve been hauling around since my conversation with my agent.

Knowing Becca has taken another travel contract is one thing. But this sounds a lot more permanent.

What if she starts the program, and then I get traded to a team on the other side of the country? I’m up for contract negotiation next year, and I could ask the Jaguars for a no-trade clause to give myself some sense of permanence. But wanting one doesn’t mean I’ll get one.

There’s only so much I can do, something that sucks a lot more now that I have someone else in my life to think about.

I just have to figure out a way to stay. I have to show up at training camp, both on and off the ice. I have to make myself invaluable, an asset instead of a liability.

A jolt of pain shoots up my arm, and I rotate my wrist a few times, the same spot pinching with the movement every time.

I have no idea how I’ll do any of those things if I can’t even figure out how to play.

Becca breathes out a sigh against my chest. “I’m really happy, Theo.”

“I’m glad,” I say, running a hand up and down her back.

She tilts her head back, propping her chin on my chest. “Also, I like your teammates.”

“Yeah?”

“Jordo and Malia are hilarious together. And I want Sarah to be my best friend. And Anna is lovely and sweet and so kind. Also, Holly’s daughter Charlie seems to have adopted Indigo. She just took her outside to look for butterflies.”

I tug her a little closer, clasping my hands together at the small of her back. “Sounds more like you like my teammates’ wives.”

“Okay, true,” she says. “But I like your teammates too. Even Blake, the poor guy. As miserable as he looks, he was still sweet when we talked for a few minutes.”

“He’ll be all right,” I say. “Training camp will be good for him.”

“Are you nervous?” she asks, her eyes dropping to my hand.

“Just ready to get it over with,” I say. And ready to see what I’m actually capable of doing. I’ve made some good progress this week—enough to make Nico optimistic. But I’ve also been fighting through a lot of pain I’m not mentioning. There’s simply too much at stake. Especially now that Becca could be impacted as well.

I lean down and press a quick kiss to Becca’s forehead. “Are you ready to get out of here? I’ve got an early start tomorrow, so I only have a few more hours before I have to crash. I’d rather not share you if I don’t have to.”

“I like the way you think,” she says. “Movie at your place?”

I nod. “Perfect.”

“I’ll go find Indigo,” she says, turning and heading back down the hall.

I find my brother and let him know we’re heading out.

“You talked to Blake?” he asks before I can go.

“Yeah, I did,” I say, and he nods.

“That’s all you got to do, man,” he says, and I know he’s talking about the captain thing even without him having to specify. “Just be intentional. Show up.”

For once, I don’t argue with him. I just nod in acknowledgement. “Thanks, man.”

For Becca, I will show up. I just have to hope that’s enough.

30

BECCA

A week into training camp, the Jaguars play their first preseason game at the Vortex against the Tennessee Tornadoes. I don’t have plans to go—Theo explained that with the exhibition games, it’s more about the rookies, the coaches trying out different combinations of players to see what works, so most of the veterans won’t play.