Page 113 of Here We Go Again

Theo might still be on the ice because league rules require that at least eight veterans play in each game so that fans still see NHL-level hockey, but he won’t know until right before, and I get the sense he doesn’t want me to go through all the effort of being there when he might not even dress out.

I can walk to the Vortex from Indigo’s condo—it wouldn’t be an effort at all. But I know he’s feeling a lot of uncertainty about this season. I don’t want to push and mess with his head or give him a reason to worry about me feeling disappointed if I’m there and he doesn’t play.

Instead, I wind up inviting several of the other wives and girlfriends over to Indigo’s for wine and appetizers. We’ll have the game on in the background just to see how it goes, but I’m hopeful we’ll also have a lot of time to talk and get to know one another.

I’m nervous—stupidly nervous. I met mostly everyone at the team dinner last Sunday, and I’ve spent time with Sarah since then. But this time, I’m hosting. That feels big and important, and I want to make a good impression.

“Girl, relax,” Indigo says, taking me by the shoulders. “The food is beautiful, the wine is expensive. You’ve done amazing. Just relax and trust.”

I take a deep breath. “Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

“It helps that your condo is so stunning,” I say. “Thanks for letting me have people over.”

“It’s your home now too,” she says. “You can have people over whenever you want.”

Fifteen minutes later, the living room is full of women, including Sarah and her sister-in-law, Anna, Jordo’s wife, Malia, and Sebastian’s girlfriend, Jenna. Indigo and Mia told me they’d make themselves scarce, but then Sarah pulls Indigo into a conversation about art, and Jenna and Mia start talking about North Carolina—they grew up just two counties apart—so I don’t think they’re going anywhere. I’m happier with them here anyway. They’re both great in party situations, whereas I tend to be a little more stressed.

But only because I want everyone to have a good time. And always have a napkin if they need one. And know where the bathroom is, and trust that I did remember Jenna is allergic to nuts, and not forget that there’s cold water in the fridge and cups in the cabinet to the right of the sink.

I also want to have a good time. But I’ll have the best time if everyone else is comfortable.

On the television screen, the Jaguars are taking the ice for warmups. I scan the players, but I don’t see any sign of Theo.

Malia steps up next to me, hovering as I am behind the food table, and helps herself to a cracker and a sliver of the baked brie I made this afternoon. “Are you nervous?” she says before popping the whole thing into her mouth. “Oh my gosh, that’s delicious,” she says before I can respond, then she keeps going. “I remember the first time I watched Jordan play after we got together. It’s so different when you have a specific player to worry about. Like, of course you want them to win, but mostly you just want them to be safe.”

My mind jumps back to that night in the hospital when Theo was brought in after his injury. It isn’t hard to imagine how it might have felt had we been together then and I’d watched it happen during the game.

“I got a small taste watching him play in juniors,” I say. “Obviously a much smaller playing stage, but⁠—”

“No, but that totally still counts!” Malia says. “I forgot you guys have a history. Is it totally wild to be back together?”

Sarah looks over her shoulder from where she’s sitting on the couch. She lifts her eyebrows, and I get the sense she wants to make sure I’m okay. I like Malia—she’s friendly and easy to talk to—but I appreciate that Sarah is looking out for me.

I smile, then turn my attention back to Malia. “Wild is a good word for it. It’s weird to have something feel familiar but also completely new at the same time.”

“Honestly, I don’t think I would have fallen for Jordan had I met him when he was in high school,” Malia says. “I’ve seen pictures, and he was seriously so awkward. I have no idea how he made it into the NHL because I don’t think he went through puberty until he was twenty-three.”

I let out a little chuckle. “Theo has definitely grown up some, but he was still pretty adorable back then. Just a slightly more boyish version of what he is now.”

“What was Carter like in high school?” Sarah asks from the couch.

I pick up a cluster of grapes and follow Malia back into the living room, where I perch on the arm of the nearest chair.

“He was a lot like he is now,” I answer. “Steady and kind and responsible. Incredibly nice to everyone.”

She smiles, her affection obvious and endearing. “He told me once that he was too serious. That if not for Theo, he would have been an absolute bore.”

I press my lips together, trying not to laugh. Carter was serious in high school. Always the adult of the group. And definitely the one most likely to be the buzzkill.

“I can tell by your expression that you agree,” Sarah says, her voice light. “You can just say whatever you’re thinking. I won’t judge.”

“He was never a bore,” I say. “But … let’s just say we probably got in a lot less trouble because of him. Which, in hindsight, that’s probably a good thing, right?”

“I don’t know,” Malia says. “Sometimes trouble is a lot of fun.”

“Oh hey, Carter is playing, Sarah,” Anna says, and we all turn our attention to the game. “I thought you said he wouldn’t be.”