Page 57 of Experiments in Offline Dating

Maya: Three hours! Were you safe?

Orla: We were safe enough. Sea caves can be dangerous, you know. But this one is fairly safe, unless you have some heavy weather.

Maya: So what did you do?

Orla: Well, at first I cursed like a sailor. But I eventually settled down to eat the sandwiches, and I had a listen. And he was very convincing, I’ll give him that.

Bill: Well, I’d been practicing all year, so thank God for it! After she was done cursing me to blisters, she calmed down. Soon enough we were laughing about the whole thing, and it felt like old times.

Orla: That was probably the wine, Billy.

Bill: Yes, good shout, that.

Maya: Wow. Orla, how were you feeling? Did you like that Bill had gone through all this to win you back? Or were you angry at being tricked?

Orla: Well, a little bit of both, I’d say, Maya. But by the time he got down on one knee and held a ring out to me, I had fallen in love all over again.

Maya: You proposed right there in the cave?

Bill: I did.

Maya: And you said yes after a year of being so angry that you wouldn’t even speak to him?

Orla: I did. And it was the best decision I ever made.

Maya: Oh my goodness. This is . . . I want to watch this movie! This is such a great story!

Bill: Thank God for that cake. I almost lost her. And I don’t know how any couple could be happier than we’ve been the past forty-eight years.

Orla: That’s right, my love. That was some good chocolate cake.

Maya: So you just had to wait for the tide to go back out?

Bill: We waited. But three hours didn’t seem long enough to me.

Orla: That’s because the first thing I did after I said yes was unbutton my blouse.

Maya: Whoa! Wait! What? Are you saying things got steamy, trapped in that cave?

Orla: Well, what else were we going to do with our time? Anyway, I wanted to give Bill a little test-drive before I signed the papers, if you know what I mean.

Maya: I absolutely do know what you mean!

Orla: It’s no surprise that we had to rush down the aisle three months after that, and little Patrick arrived early.

Maya: That is one of the best stories we’ve ever had on the show. I can’t believe this! Where is this cave? Can I see it?

Orla: Sure you can. It’s just as pretty as ever it was. Only an hour or so’s drive from here. People tend to keep it quiet from the tourists, like, because it can be dangerous, you know. But we still go from time to time, even with my hip.

Maya: Really? Can we go tomorrow?

Orla: Well, now, let me see if I don’t have enough sugar to bake you a cake.

Maya: Oh my goodness! Would you bake us a cake?

Orla: I’d be happy to. With Billy’s mam’s recipe.

Maya: I love this so much! Well, to everyone out there listening to this story of how you started a long and happy marriage, is there any advice you could share—about how you know when you’ve found the one? Or how to stay together and happy for so many years?