Page 58 of Library or Lattes?

USUALLY, LENNIE AND I TOOK our time after school, talking everything over. We talked about teachers, about other kids, about what we were going to watch on movie night. Today, though, we were all hanging out at the diner after last period. I’d just swallowed my pride and apologized to the whole group about how I’d treated them. Lennie sat beside me in support as I explained the whole identity crisis/London/Theo thing, but all Krista and Avery wanted to know was whether Theo was a good kisser. And I could barely put that into words.

“Oh my God, if I were you I would have just ditched English and run to the library,” Avery said. “I can’t believe you’re having sexy hookups there. So unfair. The hottest thing Wyatt did this week was hold my backpack while I went to the bathroom.” She made a face.

“That’s sweet, though,” I said. I didn’t think I’d ever fully understand their relationship.

“I was hoping you’d tell us today because we were talking about you at dinner last night,” added Krista as if this was casual information.

“What do you mean?” My heart was in my throat.

“Well, not you exactly,” Krista continued. “Melissa said she saw this hot guy with glasses at the library … Obviously I was like yeah right, Melissa, you weren’t at the library. But turned out she was, because my mom backed her up. And then Mom was all ‘Is that the Carmichael boy? The one going out with Willa?’ “

“Your mom knew?” I closed my eyes and felt my face flush.

“Will, my mom knows everything. She even picked up on the Lennie-Sara chemistry at Harvest Festival.”

“It’s a kind of witchcraft,” Lennie said.

“So, yeah, don’t worry. She doesn’t gossip, just takes in all the secrets and puts them in that really expensive handbag she won’t let me have.”

I laughed at that. “Okay. I’ll take your word for it. Maybe it doesn’t have to be a secret?” I thought out loud.

“I mean, it’s not anymore,” Krista reminded me.

“Yeah, why would it be a secret? If I was going out with a hot guy in his twenties I’d be shouting it from the rooft—oh, hi, Wyatt babe …” Avery kissed Wyatt’s cheek as he joined the group, looking confused.

“Go, Willa, before they follow you,” Lennie hissed in my ear. “Get to your hottie.”

“See you later, guys. And thanks—you know, for being so great.” I hugged them all and walked off in the direction of the library, a spring in my step.

That afternoon, Theo and I genuinely helped each other. Like it wasn’t just him showing me things about London, or telling me little anecdotes, but he was showing me his work again, and I shared mine too.

He spread out his sketchbook on the table, and I gazed in admiration at the pages filled with these amazing, detailed drawings of houses and buildings. All clean lines and careful shading. “Another one for my portfolio,” he said, showing me a modern house with huge windows. “For when I can actually apply to school. Whenever that is …”

I noticed a change in his tone. Quieter. Frustrated. “What do you mean?”

He sighed and flipped to another page of his sketchbook. “I was supposed to apply from home this year, to the college in Boston. It was all planned out. But then my gran got sick and my parents decided now was the perfect time to get divorced. So they dumped me here with Alfie while they sort their shit out … Even though I’m twenty. Almost twenty-one actually. I don’t need a babysitter. But anyway, still trying to figure out when I can move forward with my life …” He sighed.

“I’m really sorry, that sucks.”

“Yeah.” He nodded, his jaw tight. “But it is what it is.”

But it shouldn’t have been just “what it is.” Something in my chest ached for him. Stuck in a place he didn’t want to be, waiting for permission to start his life. At least I had a choice. An exam to take, a path forward.

I traced my fingers gently over his drawings. “Can you show me more?”

“Thanks.” He looked almost shy. “Here, look at this kitchen,” he said, pointing to another sketch. “It opens to the living room. I like when spaces flow together instead of being boxed off.”

I watched his face as he talked, the way his whole expression changed. How excited he looked.

He looked around our space, then started to sketch something else. “The library’s actually brilliant. See these alcoves between the stacks? They’re not just for books. They’re for people to hide. To have a moment alone.”

I replayed our stolen kisses.

“Is that what you love about architecture?” I asked quietly. “The way buildings have so many different parts to them? And purposes?”

He looked up at me. “Yeah. Exactly that. Like people.”

And for a second we just looked at each other as something unspoken passed between us.