Page 37 of Dark Holiday

I stroke my beard for a moment as the plan starts to come together. “I’ll require the Christmas room tonight. Mr. Grumpy Claus is going to defile it.”

Ryan tilts his head back and laughs, the full-bellied guffaws shaking his frame. “Did you seriously put that as your name? Not that I blame you. It’s fucking perfect.”

“Can you tell me which room Ms. Hoo will be in? I don’t want to start tonight on the wrong foot,” I continue, completely ignoring him. For the first time in about a decade, since before succumbing to Cindy’s wiles, I feel the smallest of sparks in my soul. I won’t hope for anything past tonight, but a weekend of rough, raunchy sex should go a long way in clearing out the memories of Cindy.

I ignore the odd look on Ryan’s face. No doubt he doesn’t even want to think about me “betraying” Cindy like that, but something has to be done. I can’t keep living like this, hurting like this.

“Brittany’s with her now going over her likes and limits. We just want to make sure everything goes smoothly. It’s not every Christmas we get a kidnapping kink.”

I run my hand through my hair and think about his words. “True. What are the odds that this new member wants something that I’ve wanted to try for years?” Again, Ryan’s lips turn up into a secretive smile. That bastard knows something. “You’re monitor tonight, yes?”

“Yep, so you better be on your toes and mind her limits. I’d hate to ruin a friendship by beating your ass.”

Tipping my head back, I let loose a bark of laughter. “Since when have you been able to beat me at anything?”

“You don’t gotta rub it in, you know. But I promise you, if it comes down to it, a damsel in distress will always give me that extra oomph I need to take you down.”

Shaking my head, I slap Ryan on the shoulder, grinning like an idiot. I’ve missed this. I’ve missed the camaraderie we’ve shared. I’ve missed being around all my kinky friends. Now that I’m refusing to hold a torch for Cindy, I can finally let myself move on and indulge in these kinds of events more often and not have it be some once-a-year thing.

“Don’t worry. Your precious Ms. Hoo, whoever she is, will be safe with me.”

CHAPTER 20

Cynthia

Sitting in the cozy room, I can’t help but still feel a chill as it slithers down my spine. Everything here is decked out in holiday finery, but instead of feeling that warm Christmas glow, I feel hollow.

Gutted.

Fragile.

Humiliated.

...Broken.

The tears threaten to spill over again, but I refuse to let them.

I walk over to the small tree in my room, the silver branches glistening in the myriad of lights. My stupidity is what led me here. If only I had guarded my heart the moment I saw Daniel. Shaking my head, I skim my fingers down a silver ornament, looking at the distortion of my face. Finally, a visual of how I feel on the inside.

Tearing myself away, I walk back over to the bed and look over the list of people here for the get-together. Everyone, including me, is using a fake name. I can’t even believe Brittany put me down as Ms. Hoo. It was supposed to be a joke, but there’s no changing it now. I couldn’t hear the first several names she suggested, and I kept saying, Ms. Who?

It’s fitting, I suppose. Glancing up in the mirror, I pull my hair up into a high ponytail, almost like a tree on top of my head. Nah. Too nonsensical. Pulling it back into a tight bun, I slip on the silver mask and read through the list of names again. Mr. Jolly and Mr. Ho Ho Ho are right out. Nothing in their lists seems even remotely like what I want to do.

I may have signed up for some darker stuff, but truthfully, their lists are a little more out there than I want to try. Perhaps next year. My throat closes for a moment. If I’m back here next year, alone, then that means Daniel and I are truly over. God. What am I even thinking? Of course we’re over. It was over the moment he fired me.

No. I need to start being honest with myself. That’s the one thing Daniel was right about. It was over the moment he left me there, breaking his promise to show me a better life, to get me out of the hellhole I was living in. I should have known better than to trust the fluttering in my gut. Once a bully, always a bully.

That’s all behind me now. It doesn’t matter that my heart feels like a bag of broken glass, threatening to puncture me if I breathe wrong. That’s the whole point of being here this weekend.

While he’s off galavanting with the hoity-toity at their little retreat, I’m hoping to get fucked until I can’t even walk home. That’s the only way I’ll truly be able to get over him - great sex. A lot of these men promise a night to remember, but until I try them all, I’ll never really know. None of them will be like Daniel, though. That’s the one sure thing about this weekend. Whether or not that’s a good thing remains to be seen.

Mr. Grumpy Claus. A smirk tilts up my lips as I read the name. There’s a lot on here that’s compatible with me. Maybe I’ll choose him first. Besides, I want to see just how grumpy he is. No one can be more grumpy than Daniel. I swear, of all the hearts in all the world, his is the smallest. No doubt about it.

How can someone hate Christmas with this much of a passion? No one I want to be with, that’s for sure. A small sliver of arousal threads its way through my body. What would Daniel think if he knew I was here? Partaking in what he so coldly demanded of me. This time, it’s my choice instead of allowing him to steamroll me into it. Would he be shocked and appalled at the things I want to try?

Would it hurt him to know that I’m trying them with another man? This time, he’ll be the one to stand there all alone. Not me. My eyes mist again as I look out the window. The snow starts to fall down a bit harder. Not enough to obscure the night, but enough to mimic the rain from that decade ago.

My hair was limp, no longer in the fancy updo my mom paid so much for. The dress I wore was stained with the rain as it blew in. Mark told me to wait for Daniel, told me about the surprise. But the surprise never came. Minutes went by, and I thought maybe he got delayed because of the rain. Then minutes turned into an hour, then into two hours.