Page 14 of You Only Die Twice

“Get the fuck out of my head,” I snarl, reaching behind me to grip the panel. I’d rather it be his neck in my hands, but I’m sure he already knows that.

His eyes narrow as he stares me down, putrid hate oozing from his pores. Without a word, he reaches out and grabs me by the throat, yanking me to him. “Seems to me you need a lesson in subjection. You are alive on my whim. I could kill you easily. I could kill her without a second thought. It’s because you amuse me that you’re even still here.”

Eyes still locked on me, he snaps his fingers. Out of nowhere, a slim woman drifts into the room, her eyes lowered to the floor. Nothing about her looks familiar. Then again, he probably has hoards of people willing to do his bidding. “The cage. Now. And tell Jeremy to send me the woman in room 224.”

She bows her head, the only acknowledgment that she even heard him, before slipping back out. I struggle against his iron grip, using every tactic I learned in the CIA, but nothing short of cutting off his hand will get him to budge. Since he’s deprived me of all my weapons, that’s looking even more impossible.

Even if you had your weapons, you wouldn't be able to touch me. Your hand would be lying on the floor before you even had the chance.

I stare at him, noting the unmoving smirk on his lips. Though I have heard his voice several times now, seeing him there, lips pressed together as he invades my brain, is mind-boggling. Try as I might, I cannot wrap my brain around what I’m seeing.

“Ahh. Perfect timing.” He lets me go and turns to the woman prostrate at his feet. “Seems our dear Mr. Jackson needs a lesson in humility, and you will serve as the perfect vessel for this teachable moment.”

The pitiful woman lays there, her stringy hair covering her face. From the smell alone, it’s clear she hasn’t been taken care of in a while. The woman from earlier slips into the room and hands Luka a metal object before walking back out, appearing and disappearing as if she was never even here.

There’s something familiar about the woman on the floor. It tickles the back of my brain like a long-repressed memory struggling to free itself. The curves of her body, the prostrate lines of her submission, I’ve seen it. Then again, it could just be wishful thinking. The horny need to subjugate Katrina to my willful domination is probably clouding everything.

Besides, the woman before me is so emaciated there’s no way I will be able to tell who she is without seeing her face. Soon enough, Luka bends down, running his hand over the oily strands before prying her head back. Shock fills my core as I stare down at a face I never thought I’d see again.

Gloria.

Just her name tripping about my skull is enough to stop my breath for a moment. I no longer have sexual feelings for her; that part died as I mourned her. However, there’s still a niggle in what’s left of my soul, a longing of the woman I held in my arms as we fell asleep.

She was my entire world. My life consisted of my work and Gloria. That was it. When she died…. I stand there, unable to move, unable to think. She’s there in front of me, the woman I thought was the other half of my soul. Though I have a vague remembrance of seeing her on the ship, she wasn’t real.

None of it was real.

Is this still a mirage? Am I forever stuck on that damned boat? Reaching down, I pinch myself, waiting for the pain that never comes. Looking down, red dots my arms, but I feel nothing. I’m empty, hollow. I can’t even make proper sense of the woman I’m staring at in front of me.

“I believe you two know each other. Tell me, Jackson, what’s it like seeing your whore kneeling before you in this state? Does it make your cock twitch? Your balls ache?” He lets go of her hair and shoves her face back down before pacing around her prone form.

“When I first saw her,” Luka continues, folding his arms behind his back as he walks. “She couldn’t wait to be under me, and not just for my sexual prowess. She wanted the one thing only I could give her. Eternal life. She begged me. She offered me every sexual thing you could even think of.”

My mind spins as I think through our conversations. Though Gloria allowed a lot in the bedroom, there were some areas she refused to allow me complete access to. Yes, she submitted to me, but even then, she never gave herself fully. I knew this. Deep in my heart, I knew there were areas I wasn’t touching, but I let myself fall into the trap of thinking she was enough.

Her submission was what I needed, or at least what I thought I needed. Then, I met Katrina. She gives herself so freely, only asking that I catch her when she falls. Comparing the two, it’s easy to see the jaded facade and jagged edges Gloria held around her like a cloak.

“Ahh, yes. You understand now.” Luka lifts his lips in a semblance of a smile that never reaches his eyes. “Now that you’ve tasted the abandon to which Katrina gives herself, you can see where Gloria was lacking.” Pausing, he looks down at her, his smile turning into a sneer. “Open.”

I half expect Gloria to fight him. Though she eventually gave in, she never obeyed me the first time I told her to do something. It was always a battle, a force of wills. I always won, but now I’m beginning to wonder if it was truly winning or if she just allowed it to happen. Was I ever really in control?

“No. You weren’t,” he answers my silent question out loud. Luka slides a metal ring behind Gloria’s teeth, and it’s then I see the two missing canines. “She manipulated you from the start. The only way I knew that was from watching her, studying her. Until I made her my progeny, I thought I had her pegged, same as you, but then I was privy to her innermost thoughts.”

He kneels down and slides his hand through her hair before lowering his lips to her splayed mouth, nibbling the tender flesh for a moment before pulling away. “Underlings always seem to forget that I own them, body, mind, and soul. When she begged me to turn her, I told her she would never belong to herself again. Did she believe me? Of course not.”

Chuckling, he stands back in front of me. “Same as you. Since the moment I turned you, you’ve been fighting deep inside yourself, unwilling to allow me to mold you, to guide you. But despite how much you struggle, I can still see every thought, every minute blip that passes for a thought. You have not learned how to hide things from me yet, but Gloria was a fast learner.”

I look back down at her, the remnants of my shattered heart breaking even further. Even in her humbled state, she looks at me with such vehemence, such bitter anger. I can almost taste her rage as it coats the space. It’s like sludge sliding down the walls, thick, acrid.

All I ever did was love her. What made her hate me so much? Again, Luka chuckles and slides his hands to my pants. Shame floods my face as my cock jerks at his nearness. I keep telling myself it’s his manipulation doing this, but deep down, I know it’s something else.

There’s a part of him that completes me. I hate knowing that he draws me, and I’m pretty sure no other man will ever compel me in the same way. Hunger races through my body at his touch, though it’s mostly fueled by anger. Our coming together isn’t the same as Katrina and me, nor is it like Gloria and me. It’s more visceral, primal, primed by mostly rage and hate.

There’s no love between Luka and me, only the constant need to claim and be claimed. The moments he’s in control, I’m so consumed with fighting back that I can’t think of anything else. It’s not like that with Katrina. She shuts out the noise. Being with her quiets the dark hunger that threatens to overtake me. Luka sees that darkness and calls it forth, demanding violence.

Yet, while he’s using me for his sexual pleasure, he makes it very clear that by doing so, I get my reward with Katrina. Unfortunately, that means my body greets him like a friend instead of an enemy. Deep down, I know that I can withstand his sexual violence since it will allow me time with Katrina, time to rein the monster back in before Luka pulls him back to the surface.

Once more, I look at Gloria, pity replacing the rage that simmers in my heart. For her to be here, she’s suffered the same as I. No one can fight Luka, and to do so would be to either sign their death warrant or the warrant of someone you love. Perhaps that’s why she’s here? Did she turn in order to protect me?