Page 56 of The Starling and the Hatter

Part of me rose up and insisted that such a thing would never be a cage, but the other part of me relaxed, feeling only grateful. “Thank you for trying to understand.”

We continued toward the house, but although I felt we had come to an understanding, there was a space that I felt between us that seemed to grow with each step we took.

***

I pulled my cloak around me in the early morning chill.

“You’re sure you have everything?” Kat asked, her face concerned even though all her words thus far had been supportive. She hadn’t bothered to put on a shawl or shoes before coming outside.

“Yes, I’m sure,” I answered. “After all, I don’t have much.”

She smiled at me, then said with sincerity, “I really hope you find what you seek, Elise.”

“Thank you for everything, Kat.”

She flashed a quick grin at me. “I live to serve,” she said with a silly bow and then kissed my cheek and stepped back, leaving me to take a deep breath and turn to Hatcher.

I was ready to leave. My pack was at my feet, ready to be picked up, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it quite yet. Hatcher hadn’t said anything. He was leaning back against the door jamb, his face in shadow with the early morning light, his shoulders hunched, looking down at his feet. I knew he didn’t think I should go, and I felt bad that he was upset with me, but…I hoped he would try to understand that this was something I needed to do.

“I suppose I’ll be off, then,” I said in an attempt to force him into action, but all he did was look up at me. He didn’t speak or move to come nearer, and the space between us felt awful, so awful that I had to say something. “Well, aren’t you going to tell me goodbye?” I asked him, attempting to smile in a teasing way but failing miserably.

His lips twisted to the side in a frown as he looked at me, and for one heart-sickening moment, I thought he would refuse even a goodbye. But then he pushed away and walked over to stand directly in front of me. I tried to catch his eye, but his gaze was fixed downward as he took my hands in his own. His grip was light, holding just my fingers as his thumb ran across the backs of them.

We stood there for several heavy moments as I stared at the profile of his downturned face.

Finally he moved, pulling my left hand up so that he could press a kiss to my palm, and then tugged me forward into a hug. I could hardly breathe. It was such a sweet gesture that it made me second-guess my decision. If a friend as good and kind as Hatcher thought this journey was ill-fated, should I really go through with it?

He held me tight, and murmured into my hair, “Be safe, Lisey.”

I blinked, confused by my own indecision. I looked over his shoulder and saw Kat standing there. She gave me a firm nod, which leant me the courage to stay my course, despite Hatcher. Kat believed I was holding him back, and I would not have that on my shoulders. “Bye, Hatch.”

He finally released me, stepping back and turning away before I could catch his eye.

I blinked. Well then. I supposed it really was time to go. I shouldered my pack, a tense frown fixed to my lips, but stepped forward with determination. I passed by Kat, giving her a quick hug. “Thank you for giving me courage,” I said. “Please help him to understand this is something I have to do.”

She pulled back and smiled at me, even though her eyes looked watery. “Go find your destination,” she encouraged.

I nodded and walked away.

Maddox

Standing in that spot, watching as Elise walked away, a dark sense of trepidation curled in my gut. I could only assume it would stay there until she came back to me—if she came back to me.

She claimed she would. But she was also running after Robert White, and if she was running after him, what would stop her from staying with him? Marrying him? I’d seen her uncertainty. She wasn’t sure this was the right decision, but she was sticking to it in her stubborn way, thinking she needed to be more than what she already was, not realizing she’d always been enough.

Kat came to stand beside me. “She’ll come back.”

“You don’t know that.” There was a hollowness to my voice that I didn’t like.

“Maybe not, but I believe it. She might be a little lost right now, but in the end I think she’s smart enough to come back to us.”

Us. Is that why she would come back? To be part of our family? Always within reach, but never in my arms? What a devastating thought.

“I’m in love with her, you know.” My voice broke on the last word. Humiliating, but I couldn’t hold it in any longer.

Kat let out a sigh beside me. “I know.”

“Do you?”