Page 77 of The Marriage Rebound

“I would. Are you okay havin’ another holiday with my family?”

“Um. Do you really think your parents would come?”

“Maybe. If Big Mama is with us, chances are good. Unless they go see Dad’s side. I don’t have to invite them though.”

Did I want them at my house after the Thanksgiving fiasco? No. Would I tolerate them and do my best to be cordial if that’s what my wife wanted? Yes, albeit reluctantly. The relationship she had with her parents was rocky, but she still wanted one, and I wouldn’t begrudge her that.

“Sash, I know you’re looking forward to this being a big deal. If you would like to include them, then that’s fine.”

Sasha reached over to slip a hand behind my neck. She opened and closed her fingers, and the soft scratching of her nails was soothing and helped combat the slight irritation I was trying to not let grow. If I wasn’t driving, I would have closed my eyes and probably fallen asleep.

“I’ll start with Big Mama. She’s stubborn, but also, she might be down for a change so she doesn’t have to do the hostin’. I’ll have to call her when we get home and see what she says.” She stopped rubbing the back of my neck and shifted her attention to Vuitton. “And . . . if she says yes, she will most likely let it slip to my folks. If they are interested in being with me, they will call.”

I cut my eyes over at her, but said nothing about her passive approach to the situation. The possibility of them actually calling to ask for an invite was slim, which I wasn’t mad about. We rode in silence for a few when a thought hit me.

“Hey, what was last night? When you apologized?”

“Oh. Honestly, I thought you kinda forgot about that.”

I glanced at her briefly before putting my attention back on the road. “Honestly, I kind of had, but this talk about your parents sort of reminded me.”

“Ah.” She kept her eyes down as she fiddled with Vuitton’s leash, which matched his name.

“So, what was it all about?”

“I shouldn’t have lied,” she said quietly. “I thought at the time I was doin’ it for a good reason, tryin’ to distract my dad from grillin’ you. But then it just went left when we got in the car and you were angry, but I shouldn’t have let it get as far as it did when I saw how upset you were, but, well, you know how I can—could get.”

“Yeah. We both can dig in.”

“True. Anyway, I don’t think I actually apologized when we talked about it before, and I felt like I should have.”

I nodded for a minute to let everything sink in. This was different, her apologizing, but I liked it. Though I remained confused on why she’d randomly brought it up last night. It apparently was something she had needed to get off her chest.

“Well, I appreciate it. I do. Thank you.”

Her dad had been pissing me off, so her heart or thought process had been in the right place trying to be a distraction. Everything that came after, not so much. But bygones.

“You know, when we talked that first night before things went sideways again, we never finished the conversation on kids.” We hadn’t made it through much of the list, but we had willingness and time.

Sasha took a deep breath then let it out slow. “I guess I’m scared.”

“Of what?”

“Of losin’ you. Would it really be a deal breaker for you if I wanted them and you didn’t or don’t?”

I craned my neck from side to side. “I don’t know, Sasha, would it be for you?”

“I want you, Courtney.”

I reached over, took her hand and kissed the inside of her wrist. “I know you say that, but this is one of those big-ticket topics. You know, one of those issues that couples can’t get past. And I’m not saying we couldn’t, but I also don’t want resentment to grow.”

Doc’s list was extensive, and she had topics color-coded by levels of importance. Kids, finances, and religion were three she deemed necessary to be on the same page about for a relationship to work. It’d been a year of Sasha dropping not-so-subtle hints or outright talking about wanting a child. As much as I loved and wanted her, I still remained on the fence about expanding our family, and I wouldn’t want to stand in her way if having a baby was something she truly desired.

“I know, but—”

“But what?”

“This is gonna sound bad,” she said as she coiled and uncoiled the leash around her fingers.