Page 78 of The Marriage Rebound

“You have me as a captive audience, baby.” I managed to get a small laugh out of her at that statement. “Whatever it is, I’m gonna hear it through. No judgment.”

“No judgment?”

“No judgment.”

Sasha blew out a slow breath. “I don’t know if my reason for wanting kids was because I wanted them or—” There was a pause as she wrestled with what she needed to say next.

“Or?” I sort of prompted.

“Or, I mean, you knew I just wanted you around, right? And when I wanted somethin’ I didn’t always make the best decisions. Not sayin’ I’m still makin’ the best decisions. I . . . I’m tryin’.” She briefly glanced over at me. “At the end of the day, I just wanted you home more.”

I was trying to make sense of what Sasha was saying, or rather what she was avoiding saying. “Wait, Sash, are you saying that you’re trying to baby trap me?”

“Don’t say it like that.”

All I could do was laugh. It bubbled out of me, deep and uncontrollable. I should have been offended or even pissed that Sasha would consider having a child as a ploy to keep me home, but I couldn’t find it within me to do so.

After a short while, she joined in. “I’m horrible,” she said in between her fits of laughter as she tried to get herself under control. “I was scared to say anythin’ because I was worried you’d think less of me. Don’t get me wrong, I love kids. I do. I just can’t say my motivations were a hundred percent comin’ from a desire for motherhood. Is that terrible? How selfish my reasons were?”

The despondency of her tone sobered me up quickly. I took a few deep breaths and wiped at my eyes. There was a lot for me to process, but one thing was clear, Sasha had been thinking about this a lot. I had to respect her honesty.

“No, Sash, I don’t know that it makes you terrible. Misguided maybe. And—I say this with love—probably a little immature.”

Vuitton stood and shook his tiny body, the rattle of his collar and leash the only sound mingling with the low music on the radio. The longer Sasha didn’t speak, the more I worried I had upset her, even though that hadn’t been my intent.

Pulling into our driveway, I hit the button to open the garage then put her car in Park without going in, remembering the tree on top so I wouldn’t knock it off. “Sash, I wasn’t trying to be mean.”

“I know what you’re saying. I get it, and you’re not wrong. But it does hurt to hear you say it out loud. Me from a couple weeks ago would have gone on the defense, but I’m tryin’ to remind myself not to do that.” She gave me a rueful smile. “Growth, right?”

I grabbed her hand again and intertwined our fingers. “Yeah, baby, growth.”

Sasha stretched over the middle console and placed a soft kiss at the corner of my mouth. “Just us is good for me,” she said, cupping my cheek.

Vuitton wiggled himself between us, causing us both to laugh as he sat on the console. “The three of us.”

Chapter 26

Sasha

I rested my head back against the seat when I got in my car. Optimism had been a recurring theme as of late, and today was no different. My phone chimed, letting me know I had a text message. Digging it out of my purse, I smiled at the message from Tanisha.

Tanisha: Hey girl let me know how it went

After playing phone tag for a couple of days, I’d finally been able to link up with Nisha’s friend Nicole about the position at her pole studio. Even with Court’s encouragement I’d been nervous about the interview, though in the end I’d had no reason to be.

Me: A little nepotism for the win 😊

Me: She said the job was mine if I wanted

Nicole had been real chill, and we spent most of the time talking about my stripper experience while she gave me a tour of the place. PoLaTeez was nice and I could picture myself working there. The studio had four rooms for the different classes; luckily one was going on at the time and Nicole let me watch. The students had been moving through some choreographed steps while the teacher counted them off. While the moves weren’t difficult, the ladies and guy who were in the class gave it their all. A full, intense cardio workout had them working up a sweat.

Tanisha: You gonna take it

It wouldn’t be the same as performing, but it looked like fun. And it would be something for me that I enjoyed. My whole world shouldn’t revolve around Courtney.

However, I liked that it mostly did.

I tapped my nails on the screen. Courtney would support my decision. She wanted me happy, and while teaching would be different, I could make it my own and have fun with it.