Page 44 of My Girlfriend is Not the Father

Jade shrugged. ‘Wouldn’t know. I haven’t done it.’ Except for maybe tonight.

Lucy’s eyes grew wide. ‘Was it a terrible break-up?’

‘Aren’t all break-ups terrible?’ Jade skipped her fingers across the ivory cable-knit blanket draped across the bed. ‘It wasn’t the break-up that was bad. It was the relationship. The break-up was the relief.’

Lucy stretched her leg and returned it to the bent position. ‘Is it too personal to ask what happened?’

‘I’ve stuck a needle in your butt. I think we’re past too personal.’

Jade loved to think the reason they divorced was because Elizabeth wanted to have kids. It sounded so simple that way. But if she was honest with herself, their issues ran so much deeper – and had started so many years earlier – than the bombshell that Elizabeth had detonated during the last six months of their marriage. Jade drew in a deep breath.

‘Where do I begin? I met her freshman year of college. She was a couple years older than me, and she shined. She was super driven. Super determined.’

‘Sort of like your parents, huh?’ Lucy asked.

‘Yes! Just like my parents and sisters. And it was … I don’t know. Seductive? Does that make sense? She always carried a promise of a better tomorrow. Like, once I graduate, this will happen. Or once I get my MBA, or land my job at the premier Chicago firm, we’ll do this. But with every milestone, it’s like … the distance between us grew.’

Lucy remained silent.

‘At a holiday party a few years back, I left to get us some drinks. When I returned, she was in a circle with her co-workers laughing about some office jargon and said something like, ‘Jade’s just a hairdresser. She wouldn’t get it.’ And I literally shrank. Like, I’m six feet tall, but felt like the smallest person in the room.’

The image of that night was forever seared into her brain. Jade had pivoted, stormed into the lobby, finished both drinks, and scrolled vegan recipes on her phone for over an hour before Elizabeth even realised she had never returned. At home that night, Elizabeth said Jade was overreacting, she always overreacted, and Elizabeth hadn’t meant it like that, obviously. But then soon, Jade stopped getting invited as Elizabeth’s plus-one, stopped being told about work, stopped being engaged with. Until Jade became a ghost in her marriage.

‘Something like that would’ve gutted me. I’m so sorry. What an awful thing to say, especially from someone who’s supposed to love you the most.’ Lucy stroked her hand across Jade’s knee, then pulled her hand back to resume her thigh massages. ‘Did you ever call her out?’

‘Yeah, sometimes.’ Jade stared at her leg where Lucy’s touch still lingered and wondered how someone’s fingertips could carry that much warmth. ‘I don’t know how to say this without sounding whiny. I’m sure there were plenty of times that I wasn’t a peach to be around. But she needed her co-workers, her friends, her managers. She didn’t need me. Everything else – everyone else – was more important. It’s not like I was jealous. I just felt …’

‘Invisible?’

Lucy’s soft words hit hard. She understands. ‘Exactly.’ Jade stopped stroking the blanket and sat higher. ‘Jesus. No more sob story. What a mood killer.’

‘What? Like this is not the sexiest thing you’ve ever seen, me rubbing a lump out of my swollen, stiff thigh?’ Lucy flexed and shook her fingers.

Sympathy flushed through Jade for Lucy’s delicate fingers. ‘Need a breather? I can take over for a while.’

‘No, you don’t have to do that. My hand’s just getting a little tired.’ She rotated her wrists until it cracked. ‘I’m playing Russian roulette with my muscles to see which will cave first.’

‘I really don’t mind. I’ve got titanium fingers.’

Lucy scrunched her nose.

‘That sounded really, really weird.’ Jade chuckled. ‘What I mean is, I’ve given at least ten scalp massages a day for the past fourteen years. My fingers are the strongest part of me. I got this.’ She hovered her hands over Lucy’s thigh. ‘I mean, it’s no big deal for me, but I don’t want to rub without permission.’

Lucy released her hand. ‘Please, be my guest. Rub away. My hand is so flippin’ tired.’ Lucy scooted herself sideways, her pink sundress getting tangled with the blankets. ‘This is why I sleep naked. All the fabric gets twisted and uncomfortable.’

It was clear she wasn’t trying to be sexy as she flipped over, huffed, and shimmied the dress straight. But it was too late. The image of Lucy sleeping naked had burrowed itself inside Jade, probably for all eternity. She exhaled slowly through her nose and tried to think friend-only thoughts.

Lucy tucked a pillow on the edge of the bed, backed her butt up to Jade, and shifted her leg. After some finagling and a few grunts and giggles, Jade scooped Lucy’s thigh onto her lap and pressed her palm with slow, circular strokes. ‘How’s the pressure?’

‘Good.’

The muscle was knotted – Jade could feel it right away, a knob beneath the skin. But if she could work it out, Lucy could sleep pain-free tonight. ‘So, you’ve never been married.’

‘Nope. Never in my game plan.’

‘No?’ Jade pushed her knuckles into Lucy’s leg and waited for her muscle to tense. When it didn’t, Jade continued. ‘Never found “the one”?’

‘Never even found a maybe.’ Lucy rested her hand next to Jade’s leg. ‘It’s hard for me to connect with people. I love Drew. I tolerate Mason.’ She chuckled. ‘Just kidding. I love him too, but even with Mason, who I’ve known for a hundred years, I don’t fully connect. And I’ve dated a lot, but I guess it always just fizzles out.’