Page 88 of My Girlfriend is Not the Father

Lucy avoided Jade’s surely heated gaze.

Throughout the paperwork process, the question about what type of pain medication she may or may not want arose often. Lucy knew about epidurals, of course, but the idea of getting a massive needle shoved into her spine terrified her more than labour itself. But then the doctor explained opioids, local anaesthesia, even laughing gas, which she’d thought was only for the dentist. Who knew there were so many options? But Lucy hadn’t done the proper research – which she was totally kicking herself for now – on the possible effects of drugs on the baby.

Throughout the journey, Jade barely had any opinions – except for the medication. She was adamant that Lucy take some pain management, touting all her clients over the years who used various things, and the babies turned out fine. When Lucy pushed back, Jade cracked. ‘I can’t stand to think of you being in pain,’ she’d said.

‘Lucy? Thoughts on medication?’ the nurse repeated.

‘I’m not saying no, but I’m not saying yes.’ Lucy looked at Jade’s flatlined lips. ‘Can I just wait and see how bad it gets?’

‘Of course.’ The nurse nodded and added the note in her computer.

Lucy turned to Jade. ‘Can you call my dad, tell him what’s going on, tell him not to worry, and ask him to stay with Chucky?’

‘Of course.’

The contractions held steady at ten minutes apart. In the labour and delivery unit, the nurse helped Lucy into the bed. ‘We’ve got yoga balls, a bathtub, towels, and heating pads. You can walk around, squat, roll on the ball, whatever will help you. As long as your vitals stay stable, you’re free to do whatever you need for relief.’

‘Thank you.’ An odd calm before the storm settled. The nurses were right – there was nothing Lucy could do now but accept her fate. She sucked on an ice cube and peeked at the army of goose bumps on Jade’s arms. ‘Can we get my girlfriend a sweatshirt or something? A blanket?’

‘I’m fine. Please don’t worry about me.’ A shiver tore through Jade. ‘I mean, only if you have one available.’

‘On it,’ the nurse said. ‘I’ll grab something and then leave you two alone for a little bit.’

As soon as the nurse left, Jade hurried to the bed. ‘Are you okay?’

The creases crossing her forehead gutted Lucy, and she kissed Jade’s hand. ‘I’m banning that word from here to eternity. I promise that if I’m not, I’ll say something.’ She glanced out the hospital window at the swaying trees. ‘Thank you for being here. I couldn’t have done this without you.’

‘Yes, you could have.’ Jade pulled the chair next to the bed and rested her head by Lucy’s lap.

Lucy closed her eyes and relished the moment, knowing that in just a few hours, all their lives would change forever.

Chapter 35

Lucy

‘Ahhhhhhhh!’ Lucy screamed into the tearing contraction as Jade absorbed Lucy’s death-grip on her hand. Drew was on Lucy’s other side. Searing fire ripped through her belly, and she attempted to ‘he, he, whoooo’ through the pain.

Mason wiped a cool towel against her forehead and held out a shaky cup of ice.

Almost five hours into the escalating contractions and the baby was stuck, refusing to budge. Lucy’s abdomen ached, her whole body felt torn and shredded, her eyelids were heavy, her energy depleted. Voices hovered, the dads and Jade offering words of encouragement, but Lucy couldn’t focus. Fingers inspected her insides, and at this point, she barely noticed.

‘You’re dilated to five. This is good. You’re moving along.’ The nurse snapped off her gloves and tossed them into the trash.

The pain was unbearable, and she was only at a five? Did that mean it was going to get five times worse? Panic seized her chest and her vision clouded. I can’t do this. How could any woman do this? The movies, the books, everyone she’d talked to – nothing had prepared her for this.

‘Gah!’ An unexpected contraction ripped through her, crushing her pelvis, moving her five-minute reprieves between contractions to less than four. Ringing sounded in her ears, and the room blinked in and out of focus. She pulled Jade’s hand into her lap. ‘I can’t do this. I can’t do this! It hurts too much.’

Jade squeezed her hand back and pushed sweaty, matted hair from Lucy’s forehead. ‘You can do this. You are a goddamn warrior.’

Mason and Drew were now watching helplessly from the corner, their mouths moving in quiet conversation, their worried eyes focused on Lucy. Lucy watched them warily. Drew, probably the designated point man, approached the bed. ‘Lucy, I know … we know … all medical decisions are up to you.’ He swallowed and glanced back at Mason, who thumbed his glasses and gave him a brief nod.

Lucy already knew what he was going to say, the same thing they’d alluded to for the past two hours. They wanted her to take pain medication, but her brain was cloudy, and she was terrified she’d make the wrong decision. What if the drug hurt the baby? What if it came out high and went through withdrawals because of her selfishness in not being able to withstand what women worldwide endured? And now her best friends would have a drug-addicted baby on top of having a preemie and then she truly would have ruined everything!

‘Take the drugs, Lucy. Please.’ Drew’s voice cracked, and he sucked in a breath. ‘Please … I can’t see you in any more pain …’ One dry muffled sob escaped, and he covered his mouth.

Lucy couldn’t think between the contractions. She heard murmurs of ‘blood pressure elevating’ as nurses joined the room, a doctor checked in on her status … people flitted in and out of her spotty peripheral vision. Drew stood at the end of the bed, dragging his hands down his cheeks as Mason whispered to the nurse.

‘I don’t know what to do.’ Lucy clung to Jade’s arm, her teeth gritted, her belly compressing, preparing for another searing wave. ‘What should I do?’