Page 89 of My Girlfriend is Not the Father

Jade wiped Lucy’s matted hair from her face. ‘I can’t make this decision for you. I want to, but I can’t.’ Jade dropped her hands, her gaze holding Lucy’s. ‘You’ve got to do what’s best for you. Not the baby, not the dads. You.’

Another contraction tore through Lucy and she ground her teeth so hard she was pretty sure her molars cracked. Her heartbeat thudded in her ears. ‘Give me the drugs.’

Two more hours passed, hushed words, screams ­– her own – and more unbearable contractions. Jade at her side, Jade by her feet, Mason gripping her shoulders, Drew squeezing her hand. And then, Lucy felt it – a drop, quick, sudden, pushing against her bladder and pelvis. Now? Right now of all times and she had to go to the bathroom? ‘Nurse?’

‘Yes, what can I do?’

Lucy looked at her love, her bestie, her friend all staring back. ‘You guys go to the corner. Private convo.’ Her snipped words carried the weight of a drill sergeant, and they immediately split. ‘I have to go to the bathroom. Like, really bad, right now.’ Lucy started rising from her position.

The nurse laid a hand on her shoulder. ‘It’s time. Baby’s ready.’

Frantic, Lucy shook her head. She was not getting it. ‘No, like the bathroom. Not the baby.’

‘We need to get ready to push.’ The nurse radioed the doctor and put on a gown.

Why isn’t she hearing me! ‘Please, you don’t understand. I’m … ugh … I have to poop!’ God, this was so embarrassing, but not nearly as embarrassing as shitting the bed with an audience. Another contraction and Lucy yelled. The meds softened the pain, but she could still feel her insides stretching and squeezing.

‘Lucy, that’s what it feels like.’ The nurse leaned closer to her ear. ‘I promise, if you do poop, I’ll cover for you. No one will know.’

Fuck it. ‘Fine. I gave you a fair warning.’ The exhaustion was so deep, seeping into her bone marrow. Her body felt tense and limp and strong and weak all at once.

‘Dads, partner, it’s time,’ the nurse called out.

Hurried footsteps, latex gloves, a doctor putting a gown over scrubs. In a snap, Mason was at Lucy’s shoulders. Drew moved to the foot of the bed, whipped off his shirt, fully prepped for immediate skin-to-skin. Hands guided her to grip under her knees to yank towards her chest. Voices called out inaudible instructions. Her lungs couldn’t fill fast enough. Screams, shaking limbs, a ring of fire screeching through her bottom, more screams, breaths, someone yelling ‘push!’ and ‘breathe!’ blanketing her and … release.

Lucy flung her head back into the pillow, the veins in her neck on the verge of popping, and the sweet, sweet sound of a baby crying filled the space. Through snipping, hushed words, and wet kisses planted on her forehead, she blinked at Drew. He sat, holding the baby against his bare chest, as nurses added blankets on top of the baby. Mason crumbled next to him, fat tears rolling down his cheeks, one shaky arm thrown over Drew, one on the baby’s back. ‘Thank you … thank you, Lucy …’

Tiredness overwhelmed every cell in her body, but she forced her eyes open, telling herself to brand this image into her brain, the moment she’d dreamed about for years. This was what pure, unconditional love looked like. Overcome with emotion, she sobbed. Jade pulled her into her chest, stroking her hair, kissing her head. She heard Jade tell the guys Lucy would be fine and to keep focusing on the baby, and whispered into Lucy’s ear how proud she was.

More footsteps came, a beeping of a machine, nurses and the dads talking. Lucy tried to focus, but everything muddied. A kaleidoscope of worried faces blurred – Drew handing the baby to a nurse and tugging his shirt back over his head, Mason nodding frantically, the nurses scurrying and radioing with quick, sharp voices.

‘What’s … going on?’ Lucy mumbled, her tongue thick and heavy. ‘Jade, what the hell is going on?’

The nurse placed the baby in the incubator and in a second, the room cleared, minus Lucy, Jade, and one nurse, who picked up an armful of soiled linens to dump in a bin, and then continuously checked Lucy’s vitals. Where was the baby? The look on Mason’s face … God, she was so tired; she tried to grab Jade’s hand but went limp. Her brain fuzzed, shorted, the words stuck in her throat.

‘Jade … please …’

Jade took a deep breath. ‘Something’s wrong with the baby. They took her to NICU.’

Chapter 36

Jade

A rustling of sheets and a short moan stirred Jade awake. She squinted into the dark and checked the time. 6:04 a.m. Oof. She pushed down the sheets and crossed the room.

Lucy blinked and yawned, the IV in her hand tugging. ‘Ouch.’

‘Hey, you,’ Jade whispered as she sat on the chair next to Lucy’s bed. She swiped her thumb against Lucy’s cheek. ‘How are you feeling?’

‘What time is it?’ Lucy asked, her voice groggy, hoarse.

‘Six.’ Jade filled a cup of water from the pitcher and handed it to Lucy.

Lucy winced as she sat up, and Jade withheld from wincing, too. Seeing her partner in so much pain broke Jade, and she prayed she never had to witness that again. After watching Lucy give birth the night before, Jade not only had enormous respect for her girlfriend, but also for anyone who’d given birth. Her sisters-in-law never talked about their birth stories, her mother certainly hadn’t, and the only reference she had was movies. Jade had no idea there were so many variations to how labour could go, no idea of the medical trauma that took place every day.

‘How’s the baby?’ Lucy asked, sipping the water.

Yet another thing Jade wasn’t prepared for – watching the men she’d grown so fond of rush out of the room with terrified faces, unsure if their daughter was okay.