Page 86 of Forced Proximity

‘No, I mean, I know he does. Or did. Or … I don’t know.’

Zane bites their lip. ‘You’re obviously hurting here. But I think you two need to sit down. There’s such obvious miscommunication happening.’

This is the very last thing I want to do, and honestly, Justin could not have been clearer. He was relieved. Fucking relieved. You don’t come back from that. ‘Oh, God no. Please don’t. If he knew I had feelings, I’d be putting him in serious danger.’

‘How?’ Zane asks, searching my eyes. ‘What am I missing here?’

I lift my head to the sun. ‘He’s not the type of guy that could hear that information – and if he felt the same way – could let it go until the stalker is found. My God, think of what happened at the grocery store. He pinned me, Zane. He wanted to protect me, and it could have been disastrous. I’m not being dramatic. He could’ve gotten seriously hurt or worse.’ I can’t shake the image of that night, the way Justin disregarded his own safety in a snap. ‘And I cannot take that risk.’

Zane steps back. ‘Oh Doc, this blows so hard. But you have to trust me. I know you guys can figure this out. I want to see my friends happy.’

‘It doesn’t matter anyway.’ I shrug. ‘He said there’s something off about us, and it took my words to make him realize it. He literally said he felt relieved.’

Zane’s nostrils flare. ‘I’m putting my foot down. You guys need to talk. Let’s get in a room. I can mediate. Or burn sage or something.’ Zane’s mouth pulls into a sympathetic smile. ‘This is not the end, I promise.’

I truly appreciate Zane trying to soften things, but I’m broken. ‘This is so embarrassing, gushing like a kid stood up at prom.’ I kick at the patio step. ‘Promise me you won’t say anything. I’ve worked in this industry for a long time, and I’m telling you that if he knew, he’d be put in harm’s way. Our utmost goal is that he stays safe, right? You cannot say anything.’

Zane shifts their weight between their feet, their gaze flickering between me and the house. ‘I hate keeping this from him. But safety comes first.’ Zane exhales. ‘I won’t say anything.’

But as they turn, I’m not convinced they’re telling the truth.

Chapter 39

Justin

Her face.

The look on Lexi’s face crushed me, but I had to say it. This battle between us, this love tug of war, is too much. She needs to leave. My heart can’t take it. The devastation shifts into anger, and rage fills me. It’s not her fault she doesn’t have feelings for me. Logically I know that. But it doesn’t stop my urge to throw a glass into the wall. It’s either that, or I break down crying, and I refuse to do that.

My jaw is clenched so tight, it’s cramping. I open the fridge for a drink, see Lexi’s lunch bag and slam the door so hard that plates rattle in the cabinet.

Downstairs in the gym, I get on the treadmill. I need to sweat this out, burn it, purge everything. I run from the look on her face, the vision of her laughing in my living room, the memories of her teaching me self-defense moves.

I increase the speed. I run from the image of us stopping for ice cream and me forcing her to try coconut – which she hates – by threatening to sing a Madonna song until she caved. More speed. Higher. Delete the memory of our hands brushing the first time and the instant jolt I got. Remove everything from the nightclub, my hand on her thigh, the smell of her hair, her legs in that red dress.

My lungs are on fire, a welcome distraction. Out of air and excuses for my behavior, I stop running after nearly an hour. I rip a towel from the rack, slap it around my neck and wipe my face. Fuck this.

The next week is a terrible Groundhog Day version of the same event. Studio meetings, me mindlessly scrolling through my phone during the most uncomfortable car rides of all time, Lexi silently performing sweeps on the house then sitting by the door until Jack arrives. There are no shared dinners, no movie nights, no conversation. We simply exist.

Today, we’ve managed to not say a single word to each other, and Zane looks like a child stuck between fighting parents. The three of us sit for the nearly hour-long ride in complete silence, minus a few exaggerated sighs from Zane.

Sure, I had immediate remorse for how I’d spoken to Lexi at the pool, but what was I supposed to do? Cry like a baby and tell her that she broke my heart? She already turned me down once. No way can I handle that rejection twice.

The driver pulls into the gate. Thank God. The second I’m back home, I’m going to my room and not saying another word to anyone for the next twelve hours.

The SUV stops. I rush out, jog upstairs, not giving a shit about the ‘sweeps’ she’s supposed to do. In my room, I toss my wallet on the dresser, throw my phone on the bed and cross the room to shut my door when an arm blocks me.

‘Wanna talk about it?’ Zane asks, stepping inside.

Nope. ‘Talk about what?’

Zane arches a brow.

I tug off my shoes and shrug. Maybe if my body portrays that I don’t care, my brain will soon grasp the same message. ‘Yeah, well, we had a disagreement. Nothing new. And nothing to talk about.’

Zane sits down hard on the bench and crosses their arms. ‘God, you can be such a dick sometimes.’

Did Zane really just say that? ‘Excuse me?’