Page 59 of Kingdom Of Veil And Vow

“Your turn,” he says, halting my next question before I have time to ask it. “Tell me something good that you remember.”

Temple resting against the stone, I stare at him, searching my memories for something worth sharing. The one that comes to me prompts a grin, drawing Xander’s eyes down to my mouth. “There was a night that Flynn, or I suppose the prince now, came to see Rhea. I could tell that she cared about him by that point, that it was crossing into something more. It made me nervous because, though he had only ever treated her kindly, I was scared of her getting hurt. She was so sad for so long after Alexi’s death, and Flynn—Prince Nox—gave her something to look forward to. Something to get her out of bed each day, and that night, both of them looked like they wanted to finally cross that line.” Xander’s face sours, and I clarify with a quick laugh. “Not that line, but like they were going to kiss for the first time. Of course, in my fox form, I could not veto the idea in any rational way. He had asked her to dance, and I knew the moment was coming when their steps slowed and their eyes locked. It was so strange, being part of something so intimate but also being treated like I wasn’t there.” A curious tightness balls in my throat, prompting me to clear it. “They leaned in close, and right before their lips met, I interrupted them with a noise.”

“A noise?” Xander asks, part amused and part confused.

“Like a whine,” I say around my smile. “Anyway, it startled them apart, the moment thoroughly ruined, and though Rhea would never say it out loud, I know she was upset I had done it.”

“I don’t understand. Your happy memory is ruining a romantic moment for the princess?”

I roll my eyes, and Xander’s lips quirk. “I realized that—had my life gone differently—I could have been sharing a similar moment with my older sister, Tiare, back home.” I run my finger along the hem of my tunic again, an embarrassed laugh tumbling out. “Admittedly, I was also the slightest bit jealous at the prospect of her kissing him.” It’s in Xander’s immediate silence that I replay what I’ve said, my eyes growing wide at the admission.

“You wanted to kiss Flynn?”

“What? No. No, that isn’t what I meant.” Unconvinced, Xander stretches his bent leg out, eyes focused on the tops of his boots as a strange look tugs on his features. “I meant, I was jealous at the idea of kissing someone for the first time out of attraction. Love. Whatever you want to call it.” I wince. Gods, that somehow sounds even worse. “Never mind,” I rush out, turning my head forward and squeezing my eyes shut. “It’s stupid.” If there are any gods listening, now would be the right time to strike me down.

“It isn’t stupid,” he finally says, and my eyes open again. “I can relate to the feeling.”

“You can?” The thought seems preposterous until I remember his rules, the last one specifically. Never let anyone get close. I glance at him from the corner of my eye. Did he create that rule to keep himself from falling for someone? Or in response to someone hurting him? Why did either thought make me feel as if I had been punched in the gut?

Sensing my attention on him, Xander clears his throat and then stands, clearly avoiding that topic of conversation. Extending his hand out to me, he helps me up, his fingers holding mine for a breath longer than necessary before releasing them. But his eyes roam my face, assessing in a way that makes me want to ask what he sees when he looks at me. “I’m sorry I have to take you back.”

It’s the snap back to reality that we both need, even as I pretend not to notice on our walk back that Xander is shortening his strides or that he’s taking extra long to confirm that we are alone when we re-enter the room connected to the dungeon. Melancholy hangs over me as I step back into my cell, and I’m grateful for the deep yawn that I release when I turn around to face Xander again. Perhaps sleep will actually come to me now.

“I don’t know what the king is planning now that he knows exactly where the princess is and who she is with,” he says solemnly, hands resting at his hips. “So if I can’t make it back within a day’s time, trust that there was no way to visit you safely.” I nod, even if the thought is more than disappointing. Even if that thought terrifies me. “But I have another gift to help pass the time.” Tugging the satchel he wears around to his front, he rummages through it before taking out a small book that he then holds out to me.

“Another book?” Taking it from him, I turn it over and read the title, a small gasp parting my lips. “Where did you get this?”

“The king took it from the tower on the night that you guys ran,” he answers, watching as I hug the book to my chest. “I thought it might be better served in your hands rather than his.”

Pressure builds annoyingly behind my eyes, but I manage to stave off the tears as he shuts and locks the cell door. “Thank you.”

He dips his head, and though his answering smile is small, it causes a fluttering in my stomach all the same. “I will see you soon, Siyala,” he says before retreating, off to return to the castle through the tunnels.

I crawl onto my cot and pull the thin blanket over my lap, setting the book on top of it as I trace the worn golden embossed title on the front. The Little Sun I read in my head, smiling before I turn to the first page.

Chapter Thirty-Six: Xander

A smooth female voice bleeds through the Mirror a few days later as King Dolian takes a meeting with the siren queen. Forced to wait with Jerrick, Silas, and Von on the other side of the doors, I angle my body to try and hear what they are saying, frustration seeping into me when I can’t make out the words.

This is the second time he has spoken with her since his ill-fated meeting with King Sadryn. In the time that has passed, an eerie calm has taken over, one that carries with it a new attitude from King Dolian. In his last meeting with his councilmen, he declared that the princess is dead, killed by the guard who stole her, and that they should let that information trickle out. To their credit, none of the councilmen had balked at the obvious lie, though I did catch a few of them sending each other confused glances as the king exited the room. Like the turning of a page, the feral ferocity with which he killed Immie has now been replaced with that carefully measured and calculating personality I have always known.

I find it curious that he won’t let anyone but Simon in his meetings with the queen. Where the sirens could possibly tie in to everything, I do not know, and that leaves me feeling uneasy. Unmoored. My success with the resistance hinges on being able to predict what the king might do next, and lately, I feel like I’m always a few steps behind him. Attempting to catch up right as he pivots to something else. Like, apparently, having people believe that the princess he is still trying quite hard to get back is now dead.

I’ve never been so terrified that I am going to mess everything up, and I have no illusions as to why I feel that way now. Siyala is an ever-present thought in my mind, consuming me from the second I wake up to the minute I shut my eyes. Even my dreams are plagued with the essence of her, though those fantasies dip into a territory I don’t dare explore any farther. It is pathetic how often I will picture her lips pressed against mine, feel the warmth of her body as she tugged me closer to her, hands digging into my hair. Rationally, I know that the moment that seems stuck on an endless loop in my head was a ploy by Siyala to get my keys and escape. But then I think of the way she looked at me after Immie’s death. How she let me hold her in that cell and, later, her face as we spoke about our good memories. These things felt real between us, and fuck me if there isn’t some part of me that desperately wishes with absolute certainty that they were.

In any case, I make a mental note to tell Siyala about the rumor involving Rhea the next time I see her. If only to assure her that there is no truth to it.

The opening of the doors to the throne room draws my attention to my left where the king strides out, his mouth tugged into a smirk. “Men, tonight, we will hold a feast to honor those who have made it to the final round of the trials for the Trusted position,” he says, surprising me.

Trepidation soon follows. I will have to bring Alden to this dinner and hope that whatever has gotten into him regarding me and how I am running the resistance is put to rest for the evening. My gut sinks farther when I realize it means that I will not be able to see Siyala tonight.

He and Simon stride ahead, their heads bowed low as they converse. Behind them, Jerrick and I follow, Silas and Von trailing us.

“Finally, some movement on the Trusted front,” Jerrick says beneath his breath, his long black hair braided behind him. “Was beginning to think this bullshit with the princess was going to derail him forever. But I guess she’s dead now, so we can move forward.”

I keep my gaze forward, every other word King Dolian and Simon say trickling to my ears. Beaches. Siren song. Ring.

“Though I will say, Commander Miles has been itching for any opportunity to show His Majesty that he’s the right man for the job.” He chuckles as we round a corner, sunlight streaming in through the windows on our left. “It’s going to be lonely for you when my man makes the cut and yours doesn’t. So many enemies at your back, Xander, it’s no wonder you have so many scars.”