Page 58 of The Best Christmas Choir Ever

She nodded. “How did you see it?”

He sat back, running a hand through his hair. “Honestly, it sort of felt like you ghosted me. Like you woke up one day and decided I wasn’t worth your time and cut me out of your life.”

Charlie sat up straighter, her heart flip-flopping at his honesty. “I didn’t realize! God, if I’d known—”

“It’s fine,” he said, brushing her off.

“It’s not fine.” She reached for him. Squeezed his forearm. “I never meant to hurt you like that.”

“You weren’t the first.” He huffed a humorless laugh. “Trust me. Seems to be par for the course with me.”

She held him tighter. “What does that mean?”

Julian licked his lips. “When my parents divorced, I think they were both so eager to start new lives, that they kind of…left me behind. My mom got remarried, her attention shifting to the new family she was building. And my dad wanted freedom that didn’t include being tied down with a kid every other weekend. It felt like I went from having a family to being wanted by neither of them. And then with my grandmother, well, she was amazing in all the ways that mattered, but then the dementia crept in. I know it wasn’t in her control, but that didn’t change how it felt to be left behind again. And then you… Sometimes it feels like I’ve spent my whole life chasing after relationships that keep slipping through my fingers. Seeing you that first day took me right back there, and it was easier to pretend like I didn’t know you.”

She stared at him, the moment heavy. “I’m sorry I did such a shit job of breaking things off with you. That I ever made you feel like I didn’t want you, because that was never true. I just… There were too many things pulling at me. I wish I could go back and do it better, but maybe it was for the best. I’m not the same person I was back then. If we’d made it through the long distance, I might have ruined it when I lost Tom.”

Julian’s gaze softened, open and yearning. “I’m not the same person, either.”

“So now what?” she asked.

“Maybe,” he began, “we get to know these new versions of ourselves.”

He leaned toward her, and Charlie’s breath hitched. She’d changed since Tom’s death, yes. But maybe it was okay for someone to know the new her. Maybe it was okay to sink into Julian the way she once had and trust him to make the world fall away.

His lips brushed hers, featherlight. He tasted like beer and hot honey, and Charlie opened her mouth, waiting for him to deepen the kiss.

He did, grazing his tongue along her lower lip, and she tipped into the sensations of him: his hand skirting down her arm, his palm on her hip, the stubble of his face against her cheek. If someone had told her all those weeks ago that returning to Elm Springs would mean returning to this, she wouldn’t have believed them. She wouldn’t have believed that any part of her heart could be open enough to let anyone in, but Julian had been there before, and he knew his way around. She didn’t know what tomorrow would bring, but she felt sure of this moment and gave into the desire.

Julian crawled over her, nudging Charlie onto her back. She latched onto his arms, her hands curling round his biceps as he settled against her hips. She could feel him hard and straining between her thighs as she rolled her body against his.

“Christ, Charlie,” he breathed against her neck.

She closed her eyes, humming in agreement, eager to forget everything. Tom’s haunting memory and the choir competition and the auditions piling up in her inbox. Just for tonight, she wanted to push it all aside.

Julian’s hands slipped up her shirt, palming her breasts as he sucked at her neck. She moaned, loud and long, no concerns about being discovered here.

Julian shifted slowly, shoving her shirt aside enough to kiss the space below her ribs, then her belly, before tugging on the drawstring of her sweats with his teeth.

“Is this okay?” he asked.

“Yes,” she said, rolling her hips as he slid her pants down her thighs.

“And this?” he asked, hooking his finger in her underwear.

She looked at him, his smile a little sexy, a little smug. “Yes,” she said, already trembling.

His fingers dipped below the elastic, tugging her underwear free, and he skimmed his fingers along her curves, barely touching.

“Julian, I swear if you don’t—”

And then he touched her, not with his fingers, but with his tongue, and Charlie almost bucked right off the couch. He lapped at her clit with slow, concentrated strokes, building her up. He increased his pace, holding her hips steady to stop her squirming, before pulling away, his breath hot against her.

Charlie’s chest heaved, and she reached for him, so breathless she couldn’t even utter the words, Don’t stop. Instead, she tugged at his hair.

Julian was unbothered, turning to kiss her palm instead. “Wasn’t sure I’d remember how to do this,” he said. “But that day in the community center—”

“If you say it’s like riding a bike, I’m going to yell at you.”