Page 56 of To Love the Stars too Fondly

“I guess I did lie to you after all,” she said, and she tried to take her hand back; I tried to pull her forward; neither won, a stalemate ‘til the end. “Terra—”

“I don’t care about any of that, Alex,” I managed to blubber, pathetic and small. “Please don’t just throw me away because you’re afraid.”

“I’d think you, of all people, would give a shit about knowingly dating a stalker.”

It stung like a slap. I didn’t care. She ripped her hand back and stepped away. I followed. “Alex, my trauma is just that—mine. And I get to decide if you’re worthy of me.”

“Me? The fallen billionaire fuck-up?” Her laughter came cruel and dark. “I guess it’s not worse than all those shit guys you fucked. Your standards aren’t exactly enviable.”

She might as well have sucker-punched me. It would have hurt less. My jaw dropped in offense. “Why did you even bring me here if you were just going to break up with me?”

“I wasn’t going to…. Look, I’d decided last night that I had to, but then that shit happened with Cliff, and I wanted to be there for you. I tried, but I can’t do this to you.”

“Stop pretending this is about me!” My frustration peaked, the urge to shake sense into her causing my hands to wring the other. “This is all on you, Alex! I’m not making you do shit.” I held up the necklace, trembling. “What about this?”

Alex shook her head. “It’s yours. Do whatever you want with it. If you pawn it, you’ll be able to—”

“Pawn it?!” Already, I fiddled with the clasp, rage making me shake. “So this is your roundabout way of trying to leave me with cash? Paying me like one of your past hookers?”

“Don’t turn this into something it’s not.”

“I know it’s not that, but fuck you!” I managed to rip the necklace off, then tossed it at her feet. “It’s still insulting.”

“I’m trying to help you, dammit,” Alex pled, swooping down to pick the necklace up off the ground.

“I don’t need help.”

“Terra, if Cliff tries to harass you, you still need to let me know.”

My heart longed to stay, to fight, but my feet were already leading me down the road, away from her.

“Dammit, Terra—get in the car. I’ll take you home.”

I ignored her. Surely there was a bus stop somewhere.

“Terra!”

I wouldn’t let her see me sob.

But not even a minute later, her car pulled up beside me, window rolled down. “Don’t be stupid,” she said. “You need to let me take you home.”

“No!”

She stopped. I did too.

“I want you, Alex, but I don’t need you,” I snapped, ignoring how my vision blurred from unshed tears. “And I definitely don’t need your pity. I accepted it before because I thought maybe it was just kindness, and maybe that was okay because you were my girlfriend, and that’s what girlfriends do. But don’t insult me.”

“Terra, I can’t let you walk all the way—”

“I’m taking the bus, you rich asshole!” Furious, both at her and my falling tears, I gestured to the bus stop at the corner. “Just get the hell out of here.”

I could have chased her, fallen to my knees, begged her to reconsider; instead, I watched her drive away.

My sobs came quickly, clouding all other thoughts.

Alex was gone.

She’d burst in like a comet across my sky, lighting up my eternal night with a joy I hadn’t felt in years.