Page 41 of The Virgin Playboy

In lustful bouts of impatience, Graham knocked over everything on his closest kitchen counter, lifting me up on top, as we proceeded to reach round two.

“Aw man. I really meant it when I said your tits looked amazing in that costume,” he said in tandem with his thrusts. “But nothing compares to how good your pussy feels,” as he pulled down my bra plate, reaching into give attention to my breasts, stomach and neck.

“Oh, fuck Graham. Fuck me. Give me those damn hips.”

“Fuck, I love the way you’re take this fucking dick,” he groaned in response. Graham was very different week one of our arrangement than week six. He’d always been his version of confident, but he went from asking whether every little thing was alright, to leaning into what he liked to do or say without my guidance. You could see and feel the difference in his performance.

“Baby, slow down,” I warned.

“Slow down?” he groaned, in response.

“It feels a little different when I’m against a hard surface. I know I’m about to cum, I just don’t want the sensation to dull because my butt is numb,” I explained, as his pace obeyed, his hips holding back as I reached down to touch myself, Graham watching my walls clamp down on him in awe.

“Sometimes it’s nice to just see you throbbing on me,” he regarded, leaning in for a kiss, before sliding me off the table. I appreciated him caring that my butt was numb, as he bent me over his kitchen table and entered me from behind. It was feral, but close. Back to chest, his hands stretched out on top of mine. A lot of kissing and panting a result of the shift.

“You gonna cum for me baby?” I encouraged, making him drive a little faster, as his voice broke, his chest tensed up against me, and his fingers interlocked with mine, before he topped everything off with a sendoff kiss.

“That totally made up for earlier,” he admitted, wearing an exhausted dopey grin.

“Mmm…”I moaned into our kiss, basking into the sweaty aftermath. “I swear, you're totally gonna rock some girl's world one day.”

Graham withdrew, tucking himself back in his pants, as a lingering quiet consumed the room. If ever there was a visible shift in mood, now was that time.

“Why the heck would you say a thing like that?”

“A thing like what?” unsure of what caused the air to shift.

“Things like, you’re totally gonna rock some girl’s world one day,” he did his best trying to imitate my accent. “It just cheapens what we’re doing sometimes.”

“I didn’t say it with that intention. I’m just acknowledging that what we’re doing, one day, at least you won’t have those initial fears you had.”

“Yeah, but I don’t want to hear that shit a minute after I fucked you. If I wanted to be with some other girl, I would be. But I’m not with some other girl, I’m with you.”

“Valid,” I held my hands up in surrender. “My mistake, I apologize⁠—”

“And while we’re on the subject, what was the deal with you introducing me as your boyfriend? Between that and what you just said, if your goal isn’t to send mixed signals, you’re really bad at it,” he spat.

“Graham, I’m really sorry. I’ve always tried to be clear and concise with you, because I know it’s what you need. It’s just, when I thought you weren’t coming to my launch party, I got a little bummed. I would’ve been ok if you hadn’t. So, when you surprised me, I was emotional. And I wasn’t about to introduce you to my parents as my situationship after I shed a tear or two. They’re open-minded but a woman can only handle so much secondhand embarrassment,” I explained.

“Okay,” he seemed to accept my answer.

“Okay?” I followed up. Only, if I hadn’t wanted an argument, I should’ve left it alone, because he certainly had had more to say on the matter.

“It's just…I wouldn't have introduced you as my girlfriend unless there was a plan in place to progress there. It's not really fair to me, given I don't cross any of your boundaries.”

“Graham, I know. Again, I’m sorry. I’ll be more careful with my words moving forward. If you’re not having fun anymore, you can be honest. I don’t want things to feel forced or that you’re compromising more than me⁠—”

“Jaq, it’s not that. It’s just, I told you in the beginning that while I wanted one, I didn’t have time for a girlfriend. And here I am, making time for you, like you’re my girlfriend. So, when you say things like earlier, it’s just confusing for me. Because I don’t want to hear about some hypothetical person when I’m literally in the room with the person I want to be with. It makes me think you’re thinking about other people when I’m with you⁠—”

“Graham, I promise I’m not!” I defended.

“Even if you aren’t, it makes me feel like, you just can’t wait until I get bored, or want more, just so you can get rid of me. And I don’t make you feel like that, so please, just give me the same courtesy,” Graham sighed. “If this is all you want, respectfully, just don't call me your boyfriend. It's a special kind of cruel. I’m going to have a shower,” he dismissed before disappearing in his apartment.

He seemed like he’d been sitting on some of the things he said for a while now. I wasn’t trying to find an out from him, or push him in the direction of someone else. Why would I? I was having the time of my life with him. So why was I making him feel his presence in the moment feel like it didn’t matter to me? It wasn’t my intention, so what was I doing wrong that was causing the execution?

I was just acknowledging that I knew our time could come to an end any second, but I didn’t want it to. He was just…young. And I was an experience he was going to have that he looked back to and appreciated, but looked back and understood why we’d never last. I wasn’t delusional. I was realistic.

Communicating that wasn’t always the best choice, but I didn’t want him to ever feel guilty or obligated to keep going at something when his wings were ready to fly. He deserved to experience things with women his own age. With people who were likely experiencing firsts and seconds with him.