Page 81 of The Virgin Playboy

“But all that you endured loving me, I know that that’s selfish,” I concluded.

“Jacqueline. I didn’t plan what I was going to say to you, and honestly, even now, I wasn’t sure what I expected you to tell me. Or if you ever planned to tell me, or wanted a response for what you told me. But if I know anything. If I could have anything. It’s that, the future I saw for myself, was never hard to picture with you in it. And if you see a future with me there, please, be selfish. I love you more than anything. More than everything. And I’m not asking you to be my everything. I just want you to be the half of me I can’t live without. If being selfish means you finally let someone really love you, I’d spend the rest of my life, making your being selfish, worth your while.” Graham’s eyes were half between relieved and sincere, caught between wanting to hug him, and wanting to tell him to run for the hills.

“I love you too, Graham. I just hope what I have to give is enough for you.” He took me in his arms, breathing me in.

“Trust me, Jaq. You have always been enough for me,” he confided, as he leaned in and planted a kiss on my forehead until his lips found their way to my mouth. Before I could stop him, he got on his knees, lifting up my shirt to kiss my stomach.

“Get up, Graham. I'm not even showing,” I giggled.

“Good, because I want to be there when you are.”

“Oh my god, Graham, we're having a baby.”

“We're fucking having a baby,” he joined in, as equally thrilled.

“But we have to watch our language,” I jabbed. “We don’t want our future kid inheriting your new potty mouth.”

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

Jaq

Time flew by once I got past my first trimester. Before I knew it, I was already a wobbly mess at eight months, and this baby could have been coming any day now. Hell, I was born early…I'm told. What did I expect from my spawn?

Instead of returning home, Graham had decided to stay in the US, moving in with me until we had a more concrete plan. Realistically speaking, my place had been more than enough room for the two of us, but when we'd have a little kid running around, I practically avoided having the conversation, and Graham? Let's just say he had had enough.

“Jaq,” he hesitated, handing me a bowl of the few things I could actually keep down. Good old-fashioned Honey Nut Cheerios. “You said we’d discuss our living space after you reached your second trimester. Clearly, we're way past that,” he said, leading me to the living room couch as he helped me help prop up my feet.

“Yeah, that's because I've been dreading it,” I said with a mouthful of cereal. “I really just bought this place, and I didn't intend on getting knocked up.”

“I know, babe, I know,” he consoled, bringing my swollen feet into his lap as he got comfy on the foot rest. “And I haven't wanted to put any unnecessary stress on you. I want you to be happy and healthy.” Truthfully, I likely wouldn't have made it this far without Graham’s support.

All the horror stories women had about their men changing during pregnancy, I just didn't have. This man helped me shower, learned how to wash and do my hair, prepared the meals I could actually eat, and escorted me to every appointment and lamaze class. Overall, he was just a really big help. I know I could have done it alone, but Graham’s support of me made me glad that I wasn't. I couldn't have dreamed for a better baby daddy.

“Baby, you have been so helpful! Way helpful than I deserve. You’ve stepped up in so many ways. That's why it kind of sucks that you're putting your job search on hold. I know that you actually like working. And I know how excited you were to be out there. I didn't expect for you to put your life on hold just because I'm pregnant.” He stood, taking a seat by me on the couch and taking the bowl out of my hand to place it on the chair side table.

“Okay, but we had a deal. I wouldn't start working until the baby's at least in preschool,” he said. I did recall such conversation, but I didn't think he was actually serious. But then again, this was Graham I was talking about. Everything he said he'd do, he actually did. Rubbing on my stomach, I let out a low breath.

“Boy, you're lucky you're rich. My ass can write my next book from home, but you just have to outdo me by writing a check.” His whole family had been really supportive, but his mom was getting on my nerves a little. Asking for every last update. I suppose I couldn't blame her. This was only her second grandchild.

“Yeah, because I want to be there. Experiencing everything with you. I don't want to be at work and get a call that I missed their first steps. Or their first words,” he beamed. Your girl didn't know anything about changing diapers or warming bottles, so having a partner that looked forward to this stuff was actually nice.

“Okay, so maybe I'm leaving some vital information out. It's not like I'm afraid to have the conversation. It's just, I know you're gonna fight me on what I'd like to do about our living sitch.” His face soured, wrapping his arm along my shoulder.

“I'm not gonna fight you. I just want us to make an informed decision. You don’t have to sell your place. You can hold onto it like you. I know you’d like to keep something that was yours before me,” he smiled, prompting for me to rip the band aid off. I’d been doing a lot of thinking. I know, I know. Bad idea, right? But after some private conversations with his mom and sisters, it gave me a change of heart on where we needed to be.

“Okay, sooooo….I know we have a good life here. Good schools. Entrenched in culture. Hell, I grew up here and I have no regrets. But I don't know, that feeling is starting to kick in. Where you want something better for your kid. I want this kid to feel safe. Surrounded by joy. Which is why….I was considering that maybe we can move to New Zealand…” that last part coming out more as a mumble, his expression the definition of puzzled.

“Maybe for a just little while. Or until our kid start school?”

For a moment, he sat there taking in what I was asking. “You would move to New Zealand for me?” Pointing to my stomach. I pressed my lips into a thin line.

“I mean, I think this is proof the lengths I'm willing to go for you. I mean, come on, I haven't seen my feet in months. But it's not just for you, it'd be for us. I mean, you're part of the reasoning. You came out really good. I wouldn't mind if our kid came out good too. It's probably something in the ocean, or something. Or maybe it's the beach,” I joked in his accent, bringing a smile to those beautiful lips of his.

“Plus, with your big ass family, it's hard to pass up all the help we'd get with child care. My folks are outside too much. They already let me know in less words, they ain't watching no damn kids,” I joked, but really, I was one hundred percent serious.

“Okay, but did you want to move in with my family or did you want to have our own space?” he asked, and because I had more time to sit with the idea, I'd already had my answer.

“As much as I'd love to have round the clock help, I think we just need our own space, but I am willing to live close by.”