Page 30 of The Governess’s Carnal Temptation

“You can't? But you're a governess. You're to teach me.”

Lydia swung around and sat up.

“I know the steps. I can show you those. However, I am not good at dancing in public," she said. The reason for her failure to dance gracefully was always her consciousness. She knew she didn't belong in polite society. Another reason she did not wish to partake in the ball that night.

Charlotte pushed her bottom lip out and gulped air as if to protest again. But, before he could, Lydia got up, determined to distract the child.

“Pray, what have you been drawing?” she asked and stepped to the table. When her eyes fell on the page, her jaw grew slack. “Is this...”

“The saucepan,” Charlotte replied proudly. “It’s a constellation in the sky.”

Lydia smiled and took the paper. Charlotte had drawn seven stars, and a saucepan shape was visible if one looked at it carefully. That wasn’t its real name, of course.

“It’s the Big Dipper,” she said gently, and Charlotte’s eyes grew wide.

“Yes! That’s what it’s called. I forgot the real name. It has another.”

“The plow,” Lydia replied, and Charlotte nodded.

“You know the stars!” Charlotte’s voice was laced with awe.

“I do. I adore the stars. I always used to watch the night sky.” She remembered the many nights spent sitting on the flat teashop roof with Nicholas as they stared at the sky with an old copy with constellations drawn within it. A thought came to her.

“Your father likes looking at the stars. Have you ever done that together?”

Charlotte puckered her lips and shook her head. “No. I look on my own, out of my window. I’m not allowed out alone at night.” Then, she snapped her fingers. “Horsefeathers! I lie. He took me once. When we were in London for the season, he took me to the roof of our house and showed me some constellations, but then he got upset and hasn’t taken me since.”

Palpable sadness tainted her words, and Lydia wanted to hug her. Remembering her position, she placed a hand on the girl’s back instead though as she did, a strange thought came to her. Nicholas had been back to London and looked at the same sky she keenly observed.

Had the memory of their shared activity made him not want to look at the stars with his daughter? Or had it been the fact that they’d been under the same sky, possibly at the same time, that troubled him?

Whatever it was, clearly his daughter inherited his love of the skies, and just like that, Lydia saw an opportunity to bond with the girl.

“Would you like to come outside with me one night and look at the stars? I know quite a few constellations. I could show you. We might even see a shooting star.”

“Really?” Charlotte replied, her eyes wide with excitement. Lydia beamed, delighted by this reaction.

“Of course.”

“Tonight?” Charlotte asked and grabbed her hand. Lydia closed hers around Charlotte’s fingers but shook her head.

“I think tonight you will be too busy with your birthday celebration. How about another night soon? When the sky is clear?”

Charlotte jumped up and down, let go of Lydia’s hand, and clapped.

“Yes, yes. Oh, it shall be splendid! Thank you, Miss Haddington.”

A knock interrupted them, and the door opened. Lydia smiled when she saw Nicholas standing there. He slid in after taking a look around the room. He wore a lovely turquoise waistcoat that shimmered, and paired it with his tight black pantaloons, he looked ready for the ball. Lydia wondered if he enjoyed such things. He'd always wished to be the center of attention at every ball, to be talked about and revered as his grandfather was.

Had those dreams come true? She realized she had no idea about Nicholas' life outside of his home. The London Season was only a month or so away, and he'd be in the city for the parliamentary session. Was he well-liked by his fellow lords?

Lydia had looked for his name in the scandal sheets for a few years, but after spotting it once, in connection with an illustrious ball attended by all the eager young ladies in search of a husband, she'd given up. It was too painful to imagine him living a life without her. A life he'd decided she didn't belong in.

“Good afternoon, Your Grace,” she said and curtsied.

“Well, hello. I see you’ve taken leave of your work early. Nothing wrong with that. It is a special day, after all,” he said with a dazzling smile as he looked at his daughter. “I think it is about time you got ready, don’t you? Mrs. Funny is drawing you a bath, and your maid is ready to help you dress.”

“Yes, Father,” Charlotte replied. The two remained distanced, but Lydia noted that the venom which usually accompanied Charlotte’s every word addressed to him was not there. There wasn’t warmth in her voice, but at least she had softened slightly.