Page 31 of The Governess’s Carnal Temptation

Likely, his suggestion to host a birthday ball had helped. Lydia knew from Mrs. Funny that Charlotte’s birthday was usually spent alone with whoever looked after her at the time. Some years, her mother’s parents would invite her to spend a few weeks at their estate in Northern England. Since Charlotte wasn’t close to her grandparents, such visits brought her little joy.

Lydia smiled as she watched Nicholas crouch so he could talk to his daughter face to face. He was trying, and perhaps that alone was worth something. Lydia got up and cleared her throat.

“I ought to let Lady Charlotte bathe. I will come by after and help your maid get you ready if you like.”

“Yes, please,” Charlotte said. Lydia thought she might fall over backward at using the word ‘please’. Nicholas likewise suppressed a grin and winked at Lydia. The gesture sent a fiery wave through her, and she quickly departed, not wanting to linger any longer and risk being drawn into a conversation with him.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

While Charlotte’s maids tended to her later that evening, Nicholas waited in his study for news that the ballroom was ready. He’d requested that the floors and the dining room be painted in chalk with constellations and flowers, which he knew his daughter liked. He knew it was customary in high society to have the best artist paint elaborate works on the floor. He’d always thought it foolish to invest so much time into something that would be wiped away after a dance or two.

Now, he understood the importance of it. These small details mattered to his society; if he had any hope of ever being accepted and respected, he had to follow them. It was partly why he’d decided to host this ball for Charlotte’s birthday. Yes, he wanted to make his daughter happy and improve their connection. However, he also wanted to make an impact on the ton. Everyone knew that his grandfather had cast him out, that he and his mother had lived as commoners in the worst neighborhoods, and that he’d worked before inheriting his title.

Even though more than a decade had passed, he still felt the judgment in the eyes of the earls, marquesses, and dukes he sat alongside in the grand House of Lords. In addition, he hadn’t exactly improved his standing with his ill-fated marriage and tendency to drink so much he made a cake out of himself in front of the nobles.

Much harm had been done to his reputation, so much he’d feared it would impact Charlotte’s future. He knew he had to repair the damage and he intended to do so. He sighed deeply when Mrs. Funny entered with a smile.

“Your Grace, a messenger came by this morning,” she said and handed him a folded note. He frowned as he took it but raised his eyebrows upon reading the message.

“Lady Evelyn is coming to the ball,” he said, and Mrs. Funny took a sharp breath.

“She is? I thought she was in Brighton until the Season.”

Nicholas nodded and set the letter down on the table. The young woman's name hit him like a cold blast in the face, and he realized he hadn't thought of her in days. After his wife died, he had no desire to marry, especially not for love. That had changed three months ago when he met the tall, slender, and stunning Lady Evelyn. He was certainly not in love with her. He did not believe he was capable of such emotions.

But, for the first time in many years, he thought he'd found someone with whom he could make a life. She was sweet, but more importantly, she was influential, well-liked, and in need of a husband. At four-and-twenty, she was getting close to the shelf.

He felt a little guilty for thinking of her as a match for reasons other than romance, but such was their society. Lady Evelyn knew it. They liked each other, and the possibility of a courtship had been discussed before she left for Brighton to attend to a family matter. He’d expected they would formalize their connection once they met again. A time that came much sooner than expected.

He rubbed his temple, feeling a megrim sneaking up on him. “Well, one more guest. The more, the merrier, aye?”

Mrs. Funny blinked instead of responding with her customary chuckle.

“Indeed.”

He looked at her, head dipped to the side. “Something the matter?”

She shrugged. “No, only you do not seem as excited at the prospect of seeing her as you usually do.”

This was no surprise, for it was very true. Usually, Lady Evelyn’s presence invoked in him a positive feeling. Today, on the other hand, he felt nothing. No, that wasn’t true. Instead, he felt a little dread. He knew this was unfair to the lady as she’d done nothing wrong. But, alas, the truth was, having Lydia here had reminded him of the life he’d left behind, the life he’d abandoned for the wants and needs of the high society.

And he was about to do it again. He wasn’t abandoning anyone this time, but he was bending over backward to be accepted. This time though, he was not doing it only for himself. He was doing it for Charlotte. She needed a good husband when the time came; she needed to be looked after. He hadn’t been able to give her the family she deserved, but when she was grown, he wanted to see her secure.

To do this, he had to make certain an eligible gentleman made an offer. His standing in society was not high enough to ensure this. Lady Evelyn’s, on the other hand, was. Her father was one of the most respectable lords in the House, and her brother stood to marry a niece of the Prince Regent. With Lady Evelyn at his side, he’d be sure to make his mark on society and ensure Charlotte’s future. Until now, he’d comforted himself with the knowledge that while he might tie himself to yet another woman he could not love, at least his child would be provided for. There might be an heir to carry on the line as well.

These had been tolerable thoughts over the past few months, but now they seemed hypocritical and untrue. Just as everything about his society was hypocritical and false, he wondered what it might be like to have a woman at his side whom he truly loved and whom he married for the pleasure of her company rather than for the pleasure of her title.

Lydia’s face swam to the forefront of his mind again, and he sighed. Her presence here should make no difference to his plans. And yet, somehow, his heart clenched when he thought of her seeing Lady Evelyn. Though the question was: Was he worried about Lydia’s reaction? Or what seeing the woman he’d loved, and the one he’d soon share his life with would do to him?

* * *

Lydia tied her father’s banyan around her slim waist and climbed onto the window seat. She always loved wrapping herself in it and was sure to take it with her to every new posting. The garment held the herbal scent of life above a tea shop and mixed it with the hints of his cedar oils. Every now and then, she caught a whiff of Caroline’s cooking in the material, and each time she inhaled, she was taken back to her cozy little home, and calm settled in her.

Outside, stars sprinkled the sky, and carriages arrived. Their lights flickered as the candles swayed with movement, and she watched as the footmen directed them into their proper places.

She heard an orchestra play below and closed her eyes as she smiled. A part of her wanted to be down there, if not with the crowd, then with Charlotte as she joined her little companions in the dining room where the children’s celebration would be held.

A knock on the door drew her attention away from the stately carriages, and when Mrs. Funny entered, Lydia slipped off her seat to greet her. However, the older lady’s small smile faded when she saw her.