Page 56 of The Governess’s Carnal Temptation

“How much are they paying you?” he demanded, hands on his hips. “I will double it. Triple it. You name it.”

Her lips contorted into a pained smile, and she looked at the tips of her shoes. “It is not only the money. The position is much closer to London. Brixton is only a short carriage ride away. I will be able to see my family every week. I could work at home and help them more.”

“But Charlotte needs you.”

“Charlotte will understand. I will speak to her. She is doing so much better with both her schooling and her behavior. She knows she must do her best to grow into a young lady worthy of respect. She will do well in life without me. Besides, she can visit. I can visit. We will write to one another.” She pressed her lips into a thin line and looked away; suddenly, Nicholas understood.

She was lying.

“Lydia, please. Lady Evelyn and I…”

“You will be wed. Charlotte will have a stepmother, and you will not need me anymore. We both know she does not want me here. It is but a matter of time.”

He stepped forward, desperation now thick in his throat.

“I will...”

“There is nothing you need to do. I wish to leave. Please accept it. Now, I have told my new employers that I need some time to help find a replacement for me. I will ensure Charlotte is left in capable hands,” she said and again did not meet his eyes.

“Lydia, I am going away this weekend with Lady Evelyn, as you know.”

“I do,” she said curtly. “That is why I am telling you now. I am certain she will want a say in whomever you hire to replace me. As she should. When you return, we can arrange for interviews, and I will help, as I said. Then, I shall leave.”

Desperate, he shook his head. “Let us speak when I return, please.”

“There is nothing more to say,” she said and finally raised her eyes. He saw the hurt at her decision, and hope sprang in his heart. Perhaps he could talk her out of this madness. He had a little time. He’d speak to Lady Evelyn and end things this weekend, then, he’d tell Lydia upon his return, and she would see there was no need for her to leave. They could still fix things. They could still be together.

“Please, promise me when I return, we will sit together and talk in more detail about the arrangements.”

She narrowed her eyes but then nodded. “Very well. We will discuss the arrangements when you return.” She curtsied and departed before he could say anything further, leaving him anxious. He paced the room, desperate for a drink but denied himself, knowing it would only worsen things.

He’d already been resolved to ending things with Lady Evelyn, but this declaration, this decision of Lydia’s, had sealed the fate of his future with the young woman – it had to come to an end. And it would. This very weekend. Then, he’d be free at last. Free to fight for the one woman he’d always wanted.

CHAPTER THIRTY

Four days later, Lydia walked along the winding path toward the manor house and thought of the first time she’d made this trek, on the day she’d arrived almost nine months ago.

How naive she’d been, how clueless about what lay ahead. Had she known the mysterious employer was none other than Nicholas, would she have turned around and left?

Or would she have pushed herself to continue? She scoffed; it wasn’t a question. She would have left. She would have saved herself a lot of heartache. Snow crunched beneath her feet as she marched on. Her hands were buried in her muff while a basket danged from her elbow with supplies from the market. Lydia had promised Charlotte to teach her how to make tea, and she planned to bake a cake for a tea party. Of course, this wasn’t solely meant as a fun activity. She intended to use their tea party to tell Charlotte she was leaving.

She felt bad about going, as Charlotte had begged her not to. Her heart ached when she thought of the desperate plea she had made only weeks before, how she’d told her everyone always left her. And now, that fear was becoming a reality. Lydia was prepared for it, of course. She’d already laid out plans to tell Charlotte they could visit each other. Besides, she’d promised Nicholas to find a new governess and train her before she left, and she’d meant it.

She didn’t want to stay through his wedding; she’d already seen enough of Lady Evelyn as it was. But she’d given her word, and she’d stick with it. At the front door, Lydia climbed the steps but halted before entering. Every time she passed here, she was reminded of Lady Evelyn’s vile words.

She was a deplorable woman, and Lydia despised having to leave Charlotte to her care, but there was nothing she could do but find a suitable governess. She was about to enter when the door flew open, and Mrs. Funny’ appeared. Her face was flushed, and her chest rose and fell rapidly as she waved a letter.

“Lydia,” she said, using her first name as had been her habit for some months. “A messenger came with an urgent letter from your sister.”

Lydia blinked, confused why this should cause alarm as her sister wrote to her each week. Then it dawned on her.

“By messenger? Surely you mean the postman brought it?”

“No, a messenger. He said it was urgent. I’ve been running all around the house looking for you. Lady Charlotte told me you went to the market.”

“I did. For a tea party so I could...” her words trailed off as she took the letter and noticed her sister’s handwriting was messier than usual, her words drawn hastily. She ripped it open and took in words, her lips parting increasingly as she read.

“My father had taken a turn for the worse. He is very ill, “she whispered without taking her eyes off her letter.