Page 57 of The Governess’s Carnal Temptation

“His gout?”

“No. He... had been doing better and was taking walks but caught a cold last week. The illness has spread to his chest, and he has trouble breathing. My sister has done everything she can, and our surgeon and the apothecary do not know what else to do. They said to prepare for the worst.”

“Oh, Lydia,” Mrs. Funny said and clasped her hand.

“I must go. At once. If I do not, it might be too late,” Lydia whispered.

“Of course,” Mrs. Funny said and stepped aside. Together, the two women rushed upstairs to her chamber, and while Lydia pulled out her portmanteau, Mrs. Funny retrieved her clothing. However, as they frantically folded and tossed items into the bag, Mrs. Funny stood straight.

“You will not return, will you?”

Lydia’s stomach dropped when she realized this was so. If her father died, she would have to stay to help Caroline. Besides, she’d be unable to teach or help Nicholas find a new governess. Likewise, if he lived, he’d need help. By the time she could return, Nicholas would be married.

“I think not,” she stammered. “I must tell Lady Charlotte. She will be heartbroken.”

“She would have been either way,” Mrs. Funny gently pointed out.

Lydia understood this would be true, but if she’d been able to follow her previous plan, she could have softened the blow.

“I’ll speak to her now,” she said quietly and slipped out of the room. She walked to the classroom, where Charlotte would draw a map of the winter sky’s constellations. She dreaded the conversation as she knew it would break her heart. Then, as she paused outside, she thought of Nicholas.

He, too, would be upset. Heartbroken? Perhaps not. He’d made it clear he had feelings for her, but at the same time, he’d gone away with Lady Evelyn to a house party. Surely if he were as serious about his feelings for her, he would have acted already. But he hadn’t, and thus, she had to.

Still, she would have wanted to part ways in a civilized manner rather than so rushed. Then again, in a way, this was easier. She wouldn’t have to go through two rounds of goodbyes... She wouldn’t have to look him in the eyes to tell him she was leaving. But, on the other hand, she’d not get to see him again before she left. Or perhaps ever.

She opened the door with her heart heavier than ever and stepped inside. Charlotte looked up at once, but the beaming smile on her lips faded the second she saw Lydia’s face.

She dropped the granite pencil she’d used to draw and rushed to Lydia.

“What has happened? Did they not have vanilla at the market for our cones?” There was an edge in her voice that told Lydia the child already had an idea that something far more serious was afoot.

“It’s not that, Charlotte,” she said and walked to the pillows in the corner where she’d once worked so hard to win Charlotte’s trust. Now, she had to sit there again and hope she didn’t undo all her work in just a few minutes. “Sit with me, please.”

Charlotte did as requested and sat beside her. They were so close she felt the girl’s warmth radiate off her. Charlotte looked up at her, her bottom lip firmly inserted between her teeth.

“I have to leave,” she said, not wanting to delay the inevitable.

“No!” Charlotte shouted at once and jumped up, hands balled into fists. “It is that dreadful Lady Evelyn, is it not? I heard her telling my father I needed a better governess and an older one. She said you were not raising me well. She said she’d take me in hand. You won’t allow that, will you? You can’t!”

Lydia shuddered at the thought of the young girl at the mercy of Lady Evelyn flashing before her. She’d have to trust Nicholas to take care of his child.

“Your father will not let her mistreat you. And he will find a new governess to take care of you.”

“No! No new governess. I want you, nobody else. I will chase them all away until you come back!” she stomped her foot. “I’ll chase Lady Evelyn away too! I only haven’t because... you’d be mad at Father too. But I will. I swear it!”

Lydia had to admit the prospect of Lady Evelyn screeching at the sight of a frog in her bed or spiders in her shoes amused her, but she suppressed a grin. Instead, she motioned for Charlotte to sit beside her again.

“Charlotte, it has nothing to do with Lady Evelyn or your father. It’s my father. It told you he was ill, yes?”

She nodded and sat down again, grasping the seriousness in Lydia’s voice. “Very ill?”

“Yes, so ill I have to go to him, so I can be there to help him.” Her voice hitched, and to her surprise, Charlotte slipped her hand into hers.

“I’m so sad to hear it. But when he’s better, you’ll come back, yes? He’ll get better, yes?”

Lydia looked at her and saw the genuine hope in Charlotte’s eyes, both for Lydia’s father’s recovery and for Lydia’s return. “I hope he’ll be better soon.”

“And then you’ll come back, yes?” Charlotte prodded her. Lydia took a deep breath. She knew she should tell her that she didn’t think returning would be possible. She shouldn’t lie to her. Yet, she knew it would be easier for both. She could write to her from London, perhaps arrange a visit soon. But for the time being, she knew it was best to part in a way that allowed the child to feel hopeful for an eventual reunion.