Page 60 of The Governess’s Carnal Temptation

“I wish you….”

Thankfully, a knock on his door interrupted her father’s speech. They both looked over their shoulders to see Caroline standing there. Her sister, too, had made a remarkable turnaround this past week. She’d gone from looking as though she might fall asleep on her feet to having rosy cheeks and an occasional smile on her lips.

Lydia was glad to see it, but at the same time, she felt awful knowing how much better her sister and father were doing when she was around. She should have been with them all along and helped them – instead, she’d run off to torment herself daily with Nicholas’ presence.

No, she knew that wasn’t fair. It was her occupation that made it possible to get better care for her father. Still, she felt she ought to have looked for employment closer by long ago to relieve her sister’s burden. Surely, after all this time, some gentleman in London would hire her, despite her prior bad review.

“Caroline,” their father said gently. “My dear. Will you join us? Your sister is trying to force me to eat cold porridge. Surely you’ll stand with me against this injustice?”

Caroline smiled and entered. “Cold or not, it is good for you. I will heat it up if you like.”

“I think I’d rather choke down some of that awful tea you made,” their father replied with a chuckle, but then a yawn overtook him. “After a nap, perhaps.”

“Lydia,” Caroline called, drawing her attention away from their father. “You have a caller.”

“Barely home a week and already a caller,” her father said with a smile. “I hope it is not someone offering you employment so quickly. I’d like to have you here longer if you aren’t returning to the Queensberry estate.”

“She might yet,” Caroline said with a smile, and Lydia’s eyebrows drew closer together. What did her sister mean? She got up and smoothed her blue dress before collecting her father’s wooden fish.

“Who is the caller?”

Caroline shrugged. “You had better go and find out. I’ll help father to bed.” As she walked past Lydia, she touched her arm gently. “But promise me you will listen with good care what your caller has to say, for he seems genuine.”

Lydia’s lips parted, and her eyes widened, for she already knew who it might be. As she descended the stairs, she calculated the time it might have taken for Nicholas to return from his country visit and then to journey to London – it would work. It could be him. The question was, why would he come? Her letter made it clear she did not wish him to.

At the bottom step, she took a deep breath and braced herself before rounding the corner. Alas, no matter of preparation could have warded off the immense torrent of feelings that crashed upon her when she stepped into the teashop and saw him.

Anger, surprise, and even relief flooded her simultaneously, though somehow, she managed to remain calm outwardly. She placed the porridge on the counter and folded her hands in front of her.

“Nicholas,” she said quietly, recognizing how long it had been since she’d seen him in this familiar environment. He walked around the teashop with wide eyes as though seeing it for the first time, and when he turned, he carried a sullen expression.

“It hasn’t changed,” he said with amazement.

“The shop has not, though its occupants are greatly altered,” she said gently, and he nodded. “Why are you here?”

He blinked and withdrew his hat, clutching it between his fingers. “Because of your father, of course. I was alarmed to hear he was so unwell. Why did you not tell me?”

Lydia blinked rapidly. “I explained it all in my letter. Did you not read it?” His eyelids twitched, and she understood that he had not. “I left it in your study.”

“I did not stay long enough to go there,” he explained. “When I returned from the country, Charlotte informed me of your father’s ill health and that you’d gone. Gone for good. I left immediately. I brought supplies, medicine, and herbs. I can fetch the physician I use when I reside in London to look after your father and…”

She raised a hand to slow him. “My father is much better. Thanks to your generous wages, I could hire the best of the best. He has had good care all these months, but the infection came upon him anyhow. He is passed it now, though, and is recovering. There was no need for you to come.”

“But there was,” he protested. “If not for him, then for you. Lydia, I had so much I still wanted to tell you.”

She shook her head and walked the length of the teashop until she stopped at the door leading outside into the alley where they’d spent so many happy hours. He followed her. She didn’t see him but heard his footsteps and felt him come closer. When he stopped, his breath brushed against her exposed neck, and she shivered with desire – a feeling she swiftly pushed away.

“We’ve said everything that needs to be said,” she told him quietly.

“You might have, but I have not. Lydia, I do not know what you wrote in your letter but….”

“I only said that my father’s health deteriorated, and I had to return to my family. I asked you to look after Charlotte, for she does not care for Lady Evelyn. I prayed that she be a good stepmother but proclaimed my reservations and asked that you find a governess who would care for Charlotte with tender kindness.” She turned and fixed her gaze on him. “And I wished you well. I still do. I hope you find everything you want at Lady Evelyn’s side.”

He took a step toward her and clutched her hand in his. “Lady Evelyn shall not be at my side. I have ended things. I told her I could not be with her for I did not love her. And Charlotte – as you said, she does not care for her either. Please, Lydia. I…”

Lydia stepped away, shocked to hear this.

“But she was your golden ticket toward securing Charlotte’s future, toward becoming respected. Why would you throw that away?”