Page 63 of The Governess’s Carnal Temptation

“You know as well as I that this woman will never let you see Charlotte again. And all the progress you made with her will be for nothing. Lydia. I cannot stand by and watch you throw everything away because you think so little of yourself,” Caroline said in a voice that was rising with each word.

“I am not what he needs. She told me as much,” Lydia exclaimed loudly.

“She?” Caroline asked and drew her eyebrows together.

“Lady Evelyn. She told me I was not what Nicholas needed; I did not have what he needed and what Charlotte needed. She does.”

Caroline grabbed her by the arms. “Lydia, you might not be a born lady, but you have more class, strength, and wit than Lady Evelyn and women like her could ever hope to obtain through their superficial accomplishments. Do not push him down a path you both know is wrong for him because you’re afraid.”

Lydia pressed her lips together, shocked by her sister’s bluntness. As she looked at her, she could not help but wonder – if he married Lady Evelyn, indeed any lady simply for her title, what would Nicholas’ life be like? Likewise, what would his life be like if he didn’t marry at all because she’d rejected him?

He would become bitter one way or the other, just as she would become bitter. They’d resent one another, and their resentment would eat up all their memories and love. And Charlotte?

The light Lydia had ignited within her would falter under the stern guidance of Lady Evelyn that she knew. Even without Lady Evelyn, Charlotte did not stand a chance at achieving her full potential without someone at her side to guide her.

What if Caroline was right? What if she was pushing the two people she loved into a living hell by insisting she was not good enough? What if she was turning her back on them to help them rise but, in reality, caused their downfall instead?

“Caroline… What if… I love them both.”

“Then tell them,” Caroline repeated. “Nicholas has left money. I can hire help in the shop to tend to our father. You are free to go. Please. Do.”

“I’m afraid,” she admitted. “What if it’s too late?”

“Too late? If even an ounce of what Nicholas told you is true, he will wait for you. He will gladly throw away the banns if they’ve been prepared. He’s always loved you, but he was foolish, just as you are being foolish now. Do not let history repeat itself. Please, Lydia. I beg of you. Go to him.”

Lydia swallowed hard and dabbed at her eyes with the back of her hand as tears spilled down her cheeks. Caroline was right. She had to go to him. She had to tell him she loved him and that she’d been wrong and she had to hope that he would understand. And take her back one last time.

As she stood in her little teashop, Lydia finally understood that she loved Nicholas with all her heart and her life would never be complete without him.

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

Nicholas glared at the article in front of him before balling it up. Then, he tossed it into the fire and watched the flames greedily eat it up. “Where is this story coming from?” he asked out loud, and Mrs. Funny cleared her throat.

“If I were to venture a guess, I’d say Lady Evelyn is spreading false rumors to make herself seem better. I believe if you do nothing, then in a few days, you will see a story that will say she’s rejected your attempt to reconcile.”

Nicholas scoffed. “So she will look like the strong lady who awoke in time to save herself from marrying a duke with a commoner’s character.”

“Indeed,” Mrs. Funny agreed. Silence fell and lingered momentarily before the older woman spoke up again. “Have you heard anything from Miss Haddington?”

“No,” he admitted without looking at her. “And I do not expect her to be in touch. Especially not if she saw this false article.”

He’d known the second he spotted the article in the paper, indicating he and Lady Evelyn might reconcile; he’d assumed she was behind it. He was absolutely sure that if Lydia saw it, it would only add to her resolve to never see him again.

She’d made it clear; she thought by pushing him away, she was somehow saving him – how wrong she was. Ever since he’d returned home from his futile attempt to win her back, it was as though time stood still. Each day passed in the same quiet, depressing manner. Without Lydia, he’d understood there was no life. No light. No joy and no hope. She'd taken it all with her.

The worst part was that he wasn’t the only one affected by her absence. Charlotte had lost her fiery temper and walked around the house like a limp marionette pulled by a puppeteer; her movements limited, her face void of expression.

The only positive he could think of was that he hadn’t been drinking. Instead, he’d sentenced himself to feel every moment of his misery without the comfort of alcohol to take it away.

It was the least he deserved, he’d told himself. For he’d brought this on himself. If he’d been honest from the start, if he’d acted sooner, if he’d been braver; but he’d been none of those things, and now Lydia was gone.

He sat in his chair, eyes closed as Mrs. Funny kept him silent but welcome company. What would his life be like now? Without her? He wondered and yet knew there would be no answers. He’d get used to it, he supposed. But how? And when? These were questions he could not quite answer for–

“Ohhh, faith. A miracle!” Charlotte’s voice boomed through the closed window, and Nicholas was on his feet at once, hastening for the window where Mrs. Funny was already peering out of.

“Your Grace,” she exclaimed, one hand clutching her neck. “It is a miracle!”

Nicholas joined her and looked out to see a carriage had come to a stop outside the front door. He frowned, surprised at the sight but uncertain why it was a miracle. Carriages stopped at the door frequently and–