Page 8 of Reforming the Rakish Marquess

He knocked on the door of a small lodging outside of the fashionable Mayfair area where he lived. A voluptuous blonde answered the door.

“Well, I was hoping you might show your handsome face here tonight,” she said.

She stepped aside so that he could enter. “I was about to see to my own needs.”

“Well, don’t hold back on my account.”

The primary benefit of his arrangement was that they could get right to the point and then he could take his leave.

A quarter hour later, he reentered his carriage. Closing his eyes, he exhaled, the anxiety that had built within him from the nightmare finally under control. His breath had become even, and the weight lifted from his chest. He buried his head in his hands. He hated being that way. Jude had long given up on a normal life and happiness, but one would think that he might make it even a few weeks with a normal night’s sleep.

He didn’t prefer the life of a gentleman unable to form a real attachment with a woman and keeping mistresses at arm’s length. But he had long come to accept that it was what his future held.

At least his breathing had returned to normal, and at last he grew exhausted. By the time he reached his home again, he stumbled upstairs and stripped away his clothing before tumbling into his bed. He pulled the covers over himself and settled on his side, hugging a pillow to himself. In a matter of moments, he went back to sleep.

*

The next morning, Jude woke up, not feeling all that rested. The nightmares didn’t return, but the fear of them kept him from allowing himself to fall into a deep sleep. He rang for Carter to help him dress.

“Rough night, my lord?” Carter asked.

Carter was no stranger to Jude’s night terrors but asked little more than that about them.

“A bit. I think I shall break my fast at my club today.”

His valet shaved him and helped him dress for the day. Jude looked in the mirror and aside from the slight dark circles under his eyes, he looked well turned out. Coffee and a hot meal would be just the thing.

Soon he found himself seated at White’s with a breakfast plate in front of him. He didn’t have much of an appetite, but he forced himself to eat, anyway.

“Would you mind a breakfast companion?” a familiar voice asked.

Jude looked up to see Matt standing before him. Matt was one of the happiest people he had ever met, and Jude could only hope some of the man’s jovial spirit might be catching and would improve his mood. “Take a seat.”

Matt caught the attendant’s attention and ordered his breakfast. “It’s dreadfully boring to eat by oneself every morning.”

“I quite agree,” Jude said. He was far lonelier than he’d ever admit to his friends, or anyone, for that matter.

“You look like you had an eventful evening.” Matt smirked at him. “Will there be some new wild story about you in the gossip sheets, friend?”

Jude forced himself to wear the mask of confidence his friends had come to expect from him. “Well, it’s become my duty to give them something to talk about.”

The attendant placed Matt’s plate and a cup of coffee in front of him.

“I take it you had a pleasurable evening then,” Matt said, before taking a bite of eggs.

“Indeed.”

Matt eyed him, and Jude was disconcerted under his assessment. “Don’t you ever tire of your escapades? Surely you wish to settle down at some point.”

Jude laughed, but he knew the mirth didn’t reach his eyes. “Now you sound like Evan, my good man. He believes I should be set for the altar now that he’s leg shackled himself.”

Unfortunately for Jude, Matt didn’t relent. “You didn’t answer my question. You aren’t tired of being the talk of the ton?”

Yes. Not that he could admit it. “Why should I be? I live a most contented life. What about you? Where is your wife, my jolly friend?”

Matt frowned. “Out there somewhere, I suppose.”

“I think that may be the first time I haven’t seen you smile, my good man.” That was interesting, indeed.