Page 89 of Queen of Ruin

As long as she’s here, I don’t care where I am.

Three days later, I sit in the kitchen of the Suit headquarters, staring out of the large window at the fluffy clouds racing across the sky. Birds dance between them, racing one another or perhaps dancing and playing. I can’t tell, and I don’t know enough to decipher it, but it’s nice to watch.

A mug of hot coffee warms my hands, strong drugs keep my pain at bay, and the subtle noise of the city rising up from below gives me a new sense of peace.

I’m alive.

Valentina saving my life wasn’t a dream. It was real. Somehow, she found me and she came for me. I can’t fathom how she was able to pull that off, and there have been far too many doctors and more getting in between us these last few days for me to ask, but she did it.

Somehow.

I never doubted that she was an incredible woman, and this proves it.

“Ugh.” Suddenly, her voice rises up from behind me and she enters the kitchen. Her hand brushes my shoulder, then immediately pinches the soft flesh near my neck while she leans over me and steals my coffee.

“Ow,” I croak softly, glancing up at her. “What was that for?” Every word is slow and careful thanks to the stitches in my tongue and the slight reduction in swelling.

“I’m still pissed at you,” she says flatly as she takes the seat next to me and crosses her legs so that her ankle rests against my calf. “You left me here. You left and got kidnapped and nearly died, so yeah, I’m still pretty pissed about that and I feel like I have a right to be.”

She’s different.

It’s not a huge difference, more of a subtlety, as if she’s stepped into a different light. The Valentina I know and love is definitely still there, but there’s something different about her ever since her memories came back.

But she smiles at me the same way, even now as she drinks the stolen coffee.

“I’m sorry,” I say slowly.

Valentina’s brows twitch together as she lowers her mug, licking her lips. “I want to know why. For me, I know I was throwing myself into remembering and I was doing everything really fast, but I always came back to you. And then you were just… gone.”

She didn’t cry when she rescued me, but right now, the way her eyelashes tremble and she keeps swallowing makes it look like she’s fighting not to cry right now.

“Honestly? I was scared. I felt out of my depth. Like I didn’t belong. With these people, this world, or you. And Mindy was texting me, cryptic as always. As much as I dislike her, I still feel responsible for her. The night she came to me after I found you, I gave her money and because of that, she kept coming back. Each time she shot up was because of me.”

Valentina remains patient through every moment of my slow talking and doesn’t look away, even when I have to pause to breathe. As uncomfortable as it is to talk, I need to say it all.

“And she’s right. It’s my fault she’s like this. My fault her life took that turn. So when she needed help, all I could think was that I had done what I could for you and I needed to make it up to her in some way.”

“I disagree,” Valentina says softly. “Bradley pointed out that you were in a lot of pain back then. You needed people to love and support and help you. Mindy chose to join you. That was on her. Her choices are not your responsibility because anyone else would have gotten you help. What she does is on her.”

It’s a strange way of looking at it and a perspective I’ve never considered before. What would my life be like if Mindy had gotten me help the first time she found me high and passed out?

“Still,” I say carefully. “I gave her money to appease her. I fed her habit.”

“She manipulated you,” Valentina corrects. “And…” Her gaze falls to her mug. “I don’t quite know how to say this.”

My heart begins to pound as Valentina finally looks up and there’s nothing but pain in her eyes. I immediately brace for the inevitable. I was right, and there’s no place for me in her heart anymore.

“Mindy’s dead.”

“What?” My heart stalls in my chest.

“Her body washed up the morning after we found you. Overdose, according to the coroner. Our best guess is that she sold the groceries we got her and used that money to go and get high. But she overdosed. I know you might feel responsible, but before you do, consider that it was her choice. She knew full well what drugs could do. And she resisted all your attempts to get her clean. She even handed you over to bounty hunters. Bounty hunters who murdered Tech.”

Dead.

Tech is dead.

Mindy is dead.