Page 20 of Bad Decisions

Chapter nine

Jewel

Darkness engulfs the final rays of light, nature’s dimmer switch turning down, and the silence between us grows deafening. We’re each lost in our own thoughts. Mine spiraling back to those days before I met Will, only a week ago, and the soul-deep loneliness that overwhelmed me after losing my father.

Even after what Will said this morning about meeting up again, I’m scared that this could be it, and my stomach churns with a toxic cocktail of anxiety and panic. It’s hard to believe that one person could become such a tower of strength for me in such a short time.

“Please promise that this doesn’t end here,” I finally have the courage to say. It’s a desperate plea and the only sliver of hope I have to hang on to. Whatever happens, I need him in my life, if only as a friend.

“Promise.” Will’s response is delivered in a firm, deep voice, soothing the fear that had been bubbling up in the pit of my belly.

He reaches for my hand, and I inch closer to his unwavering support. The heat emanating from his body warms me like a cozy blanket. And the point where our hands touch sizzles.

I don’t want to leave tonight, but I need to, for my own sake. Goodbyes are hard, and this one is unbearable. My chest tightens uncomfortably, making it difficult to breathe.

Commitment has never come easy to me. Beyond my father and a small circle of ride-or-die friends, everyone else has been kept at a distance. Until Will came along. A stranger on a beach, who slipped past all my defenses and carved his own special space in my heart. Somehow, this man has become more important to me than the two long-term relationships I’ve had in the past, each lasting just over a year. How is that even possible?

A cold wind whips at us as the moon sends thin beams of light through the gathering clouds. It looks like a storm is brewing.

“I should go,” I murmur, but my toes remain buried in the sand as I stare out at the dark, inky ocean. A shiver racks my body, and instantly Will puts an arm around my shoulders, tucking me into his side. It’s how I’ve fallen asleep every night since that first one, then slept soundly through till dawn.

“I wish you would stay here with me. Just one more night,” he says with a gentle squeeze.

I’m tempted, but a clean break will be easier. “It’s best I go back to my father’s house tonight,” I say, turning into his embrace. “Besides, you’re leaving early tomorrow.”

“I thought you liked me waking you up early in the morning,” he teases, and I see his comment for what it is: an attempt to lighten the somber mood.

“I do, but not to say goodbye,” I admit, my voice a shade above a whisper.

“I wish I hadn’t promised that I’d meet my friends tomorrow in DC. I would have liked to have stayed longer.” He brushes back the strands of hair that the wind has blown across my face. I hadn’t even noticed.

“Another day isn’t going to make saying goodbye any easier,” I say almost to myself.

“I’ll miss you,” he says before his lips brush across my forehead. It’s a gentle, sweet kiss that hurts my heart more than if he’d given me a more passionate one.

“I’ll miss you too,” I whisper into the folds of his jumper, terrified that he’ll be able to see just how much. When I’ve had a moment to rein in my emotions, I look up. “Meeting you this week was exactly what I needed. Y-You saved me from my grief and showed me that I can still be happy.” I swallow the lump forming in my throat before continuing, “Thank you for making the saddest time in my life bearable.”

He places his thumb and forefinger on my chin and tilts my face up higher. “I think we were meant to meet exactly like this, when we both needed someone to lean on.”

My eyes widen. I never felt that this was reciprocal, but as I gaze into his eyes lit only by the moon, I understand for the first time that I’ve given him something special too. Then, as if he’s let me see too much, he dips his head, sealing his lips to mine.

More memories to last until we can be together again.

One Week Later

“Are you sure you were ready to come back?” Cara stands just inside the doorway of my treatment room, a frown creasing her brow.

It’s my first day back at work and the first time I’ve seen her since the funeral. “It’s been six weeks, and now that I’m back in the city, I need to be here.”

Being back alone in my father’s empty house was horrible once Will had gone, and wandering aimlessly around my apartment with only my thoughts for company wasn’t much better. I’ve always been someone who needs to be busy, and being back at the clinic, working alongside my best friend, is the perfect solution.

No time to dwell on my decision to sell my father’s house. And no time to revisit the memories of my time with Will.

He called once the day after he left, and the conversation felt awkward. He obviously isn’t a fan of long phone calls about nothing in particular. But then neither am I, so switching to texting made sense, and we’ve been messaging back and forth ever since. Not excessively, because I don’t want to be that annoying person, but enough to share our days and keep a connection.

“Earth to Jewel,” Cara says, snapping her fingers. “Did I lose you there for a minute?” Concern etches her features, and before I can reply, she’s across the room, throwing her arms around me in a fierce hug. “Oh, hun, I’m here for whatever you need.”

“Thanks.” I squeeze her back. She’s the best of friends. The person who was there when I got the call about my dad, then dropped everything, literally closing the clinic for the day, just to be with me as I sobbed my heart out.