Page 21 of Bad Decisions

“I’ve been worried about you,” she says, still hugging me too tight. I slowly extricate myself from her hold before sitting in the chair behind me.

Cara pulls up a stool and drops onto it before focusing her gaze on me. “Are you really all right?”

“Honestly, I’m doing fine.” I try not to flinch under her intense scrutiny. She’s way too good at seeing through my words of deflection or little white lies.

She raises one brow, and that’s all it takes for me to give up the pretense and blurt out, “I met someone … at the beach.”

The outburst is as surprising to both of us as if I’d banged my hand on the desk. Honestly, I hadn’t planned on telling her about Will, at least not until we could really talk, preferably while we drank our way through a bottle of red. But partly because I’m not yet sure what I would say. I’m still working through the layers of emotions his departure left behind.

Meeting someone like Will was totally unexpected, even more so when my world had just come crashing down around me. Emotionally, I’m drained and a little bit heartbroken.

“Was this ‘someone’ the friend who was helping you?” Confusion pulls her brows together, a tiny crease forming between them.

I nod. No words can express how grateful I am to Will for the precious gift he gave me, a shoulder to lean on and a place to escape to. The memory brings a smile to my lips.

“And the reason you look a little happier?” Her grin pulls her cheeks wide.

I nod again. “I guess. But don’t get too excited, because I’m not sure exactly what will happen next. If anything?” Doubts started filtering in last night after arriving home. It was like leaving Southampton had pulled me further away from him. “We haven’t made any firm plans to meet up. And really, how would it even work when he lives in DC and I’m here?”

“Whoa, you need to slow down, take a breath, then back up. You’ve just admitted that the friend you’ve been casually mentioning was not one of the older gentlemen offering their assistance after the funeral,” she complains, but the grin continues to stretch her lips. “I think you need to start at the beginning.” She leans an elbow on the desk, waiting.

“We don’t have time,” I say, glancing up at the clock on the wall.

“Oh, we’ve got plenty of time. Once you told me you’d be back today, I blocked out the first appointment in our schedules, so we did.” She folds her arms across her chest, looking smug. “So, spill the tea, my friend.”

I blow out a puff of air, then launch into an abridged version of my week with Will. It’s mostly the steamy parts I leave out, not wanting to share those special moments that belong to Will and me.

“Well, that all sounds very wholesome,” she says when I finish. The omission not lost on Cara because we usually do talk about sex.

I roll my eyes. “Anyway, I don’t know when I’ll see him next. Or even if I should.”

“You should. Will sounds like a good guy. And we both know how hard those are to find.”

“He is a good guy,” I admit, following the words with a sigh.

“You know what you need?” she says, jumping up to her feet. “A girls’ night in, with pizza, red wine, and ice cream.”

“That sounds perfect.” I’ve missed hanging out with my friend, drinking too much, and laughing like we’ll split our sides.

She grins. “I’ll bring the ice cream and wine,” Cara announces before whirling out of the room.

On the surface, my life is going back to normal, but in my heart, everything has changed. A war is being waged between the sadness of losing my father and the possibility of finding love. And I’m struggling to reconcile the two.

Chapter ten

Will

Seven days, that’s all we had. But memories of Jewel have been playing on repeat this past month, like I’d known her my whole life.

Little things she said or did have popped into my head at the strangest times. Damn, I miss her. Just being with her, talking about everything and nothing. Sharing laughs, stories, and exquisite moments of pleasure. I’m desperate to explain all this to her, yet I don’t dare. Not when my life has been built around keeping my emotions hidden.

Picking up my whiskey glass from the coffee table, I lean back onto the firm backrest of the sofa and take a sip. It’s quiet tonight, almost unnerving in this large, busy city. It’s been the hardest thing to acclimate to. But slowly, as the weeks pass, I’m adjusting with the support of my friends.

The furnished one-bedroom basement apartment I found in my first week in DC is comfortable enough, especially after living in barracks on a military base. It’s only a few blocks from the office and on a tree-lined street of Victorian houses, which makes it feel more suburban than city. It can be a little jarring stepping outside the door of the building some days, as I’ve never lived anywhere with trees on my doorstep.

Jewel thinks it’s pretty. I sent her some pictures just after I’d moved in, and she said she’d like to have a leafy view like that outside her apartment. There are tree-lined streets in Brooklyn, but apparently her apartment isn’t on one of them. Maybe soon I’ll get to see that for myself.

I jump up to grab my cell off the charger to check my emails, hoping Ben has confirmed that this weekend I’m completely free for the first time since I arrived.