Page 48 of To All the Men I’ve Killed Before

He shrugs. ‘No probs. It’s literally my job. You want me to keep looking?’

‘Of course,’ I say. Travis isn’t cheap but I’ve got very deep pockets and I’m more than prepared to keep paying until he finds him.

‘Then I will.’ He smiles and fiddles with a napkin on the table. ‘Actually, there was something else I wanted to ask you.’

‘Okay,’ I say, intrigued. ‘Go ahead.’

‘Right, yes.’ He clears his throat again. ‘So, first of all I don’t want you to get the idea that I do this kind of thing a lot. Because, obviously, you’re a client and it’s a bit creepy now I’m saying it out loud.’

This doesn’t sound good.

Has Travis found out something?

Something about me?

Something I would really quite like to keep hidden?

Something like the number of dead men in my past?

But no, it couldn’t be that, could it?

Surely he’s not that good a detective. He’d have found Aidan Ward by now if he was.

And we wouldn’t be sitting here making jokes over gross green juice if he knew.

Would he?

‘Anyway,’ he’s saying now, ‘I know it’s unprofessional. But I looked on your socials and I saw that you’re single. And, um, I was wondering if you’d like to go for a drink. With me. Obviously.’

Oh.

Well.

I suppose Antoinette did call this one.

‘Oh,’ I say.

His face falls and he gives an awkward laugh. ‘I’ll be honest, Kitty,’ he says. ‘That wasn’t the response I was hoping for.’

I don’t know what to say.

I mean, Travis is objectively hot and everything. I just don’t want to go on a date with him.

I don’t want to go on a date with anyone.

I only want Charlie.

‘Sorry,’ I say. ‘I’m not really dating at the moment.’

He looks crestfallen. ‘That’s disappointing,’ he says. ‘Are you sure I can’t persuade you?’

I shake my head. ‘Sorry,’ I say again, although it doesn’t actually make any sense that I am apologising for saying no to a date I don’t want to go on.

Why are women conditioned to be sorry for everything all the time?

‘I’ve only recently broken up with someone and I’m just not looking for anything right now. It’s nothing personal. Promise.’

Although it is quite personal.