Page 49 of To All the Men I’ve Killed Before

He’s not Charlie.

‘Sorry to hear that,’ he says. ‘And sorry to put you in an awkward position.’

‘It’s fine,’ I say. ‘Don’t worry about it. Gotta shoot your shot.’

He smiles and looks so handsome I almost change my mind. Almost. ‘And you don’t think I’m horribly unprofessional and creepy? I feel a bit creepy. Please don’t put it on Yelp.’

I laugh.

He’s cute and funny.

It’s such a shame that I seem to have died inside.

‘I promise,’ I say as I gather up my things. ‘Let me know when you’ve found anything about Aidan Ward.’

I swing my bag over my shoulder but as I do, it hits the glass of swamp-water, sending it flying. Travis yelps as the majority of it lands in his lap. I stare in horror as a puddle of green appears on the crotch of his cream chino shorts.

He jumps up.

‘Oh my God, I’m so sorry,’ I say, grabbing a handful of napkins and thrusting them at him.

‘First you reject me and then you throw a drink at me,’ Travis says, but he sounds more amused than annoyed. ‘I think I get the message at this point.’

He takes the napkins from me.

‘Sorry,’ I murmur again. ‘Do you need any help?’

He looks up at me. ‘I think I’ve got this.’

The waitress is on her way over too with another wad of napkins. She gives me a glare, which I take as my cue to leave.

Outside, I look back in through the window. The waitress is dabbing at the stain on Travis’s trousers and they’re both laughing.

Any guilt about saying no to the date dissipates.

I think he’ll be just fine.

28

Kitty and Antoinette’s Airbnb, West Hollywood, Los Angeles

‘Any wins?’ Antoinette asks when I get back to the villa.

‘No,’ I say. ‘Well, actually that’s not strictly true. Travis asked me out.’

She gives me a smug little smile. ‘I knew I was picking up on a vibe between you two! My instinct never lets me down. So? Spill.’

‘Nothing to spill really,’ I say. ‘Unless you count the green juice that the waitress slammed in front of me.’

‘I noticed her last time too,’ Antoinette says. ‘She was as green as the juice with envy.’

‘Anyway, I said no.’

‘Whyyyyyyyyy?’ Antoinette asks me, somehow making the word have four syllables. ‘Travis is cute. And funny and he’s clearly super into you.’

I shift in my seat and shrug. ‘I just don’t feel like I’m in the right mindset to be dating anyone,’ I say. ‘And if he is “super into me” I’d be leading him on. It doesn’t seem fair.’

Antoinette fixes me with one of her stares. One of the ones that I’ve learned means some hard truths are about to follow.