Page 43 of The Seeker

“You don’t want to know, Askel.” I rose from my seated position, the conversation over. I would never be able to formulate words on how the imprisonment had broken me. I hadn’t been there to save anyone, like all of my previous imprisonments. I merely sat there, useless, for days on end.

And I’d made my life into an even more complicated mess.

At least I’d managed to burn some of the books—something Askel wouldn’t approve of.

Though I was no longer certain I’d made the right choice that day.

I moved to wait on the edge of the clearing, my back to the group as we waited for Otho and Ena to return. Ena returned first, a smirk on her face, but she said nothing as she came to stand next to me.

Otho wasn’t far behind, his lips pressed into a thin line, a dead rabbit over his shoulder. He handed it to Jase before motioning me over.

I shook my head and crossed my arms.

He scowled, but said nothing, taking off in the direction we’d been headed in all morning, his head down as he chose a path for us.

I wanted to ask if he’d had anything to eat, but I smashed that thought down, trying and failing to suppress what my body felt for him—the urge to ensure he was taking care of himself.

I knew we would get over this, the magic of our weighted relationship already overpowering my anger. But I wanted him to know how angry I was at him.

As we climbed, I fell behind, unused to the physical strain of climbing. I hadn’t realized how much Ena had slowed for me the previous days, and though Otho glanced over his shoulder, his ache to help me brushing my muted empathy gift, he whistled, and it was Ryle who slowed down until his pace matched mine.

I didn’t really want to speak with Leif’s former general, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep until I did—until I solved the puzzle.

“Why?” The word was a gasp, and at first, I thought he hadn’t heard me.

But then he spoke. “It was a position to me, nothing more. Hansen appointed me, and when he died, I kept the position. Otho approached me and well . . .” He trailed off.

I bit my lip. I knew that anyone who flipped sides once would certainly do so again. Something Otho had overlooked when he brought him along on this little expedition.

I wouldn’t be making the same mistake. “That doesn’t answer my question,” I replied.

I could feel his confusion, then his resolve. “A war is a war. Everyone loses. I fight for whoever pays me the most.”

My teeth bit clean through my lip, and I sucked it into my mouth before the blood could run down my chin. I glared at Otho’s back. “But what about fighting for what you believe in? What you believe to be right?”

He shrugged. “Right to me is money. Otherwise, I’m happy to do whatever others ask of me.”

I swallowed, unhappy with the mental picture those words invoked in my mind—the version of myself that Ryle suddenly reminded me of.

Angry, I increased my pace, even as my lungs burned, so that I was in between Karl and Otho. I tried to keep my mind off of the anger bubbling beneath my skin by watching Ena, but my mind kept returning to how Otho apparently thought he could win this war with coin.

Which reminded me of something else. If Otho was here, who was the current Viscount of Ralheim?

With a grumble, I knew this meant Otho and I would be speaking sooner rather than later.

It was time to find out what really happened the fateful night I left Malheim.

It was already dark when we finally stopped for the night, the men moving with practiced precision as they set up camp, a fire, and Ryle skinned and roasted the rabbit over the flames.

Ena continued poking in the bushes, and I wondered where she found the energy. My legs and arms ached from the hike, and the moment I sank down onto a rock near the fire Ryle was using, I felt other muscles in my core also protesting the strenuous activity.

Dinner was silent, all of us enjoying the roasted rabbit along with a small potato that Ena had scavenged during the day. They were both delicious, and I craved more even when there was nothing but bones left.

Once Askel collected the bones into a pile, I motioned to Otho, whose gray eyes were already fixed on me. Without explaining, I stepped into the trees, waiting for him to join me.

I only knew he’d followed thanks to the sound of his boots as they crushed the underbrush with each step.

The moment we were out of earshot, I started, not wanting to lose the nerve I’d spent all day fortifying. “You can’t win a war with coin.”