Page 58 of The Seeker

We stayed like that for a while, until he had gone soft inside me. He carefully shifted me off of his lap, walking to the bathing chamber to grab a towel to clean us both before climbing back into bed.

I moved into his arms, laying my head on his chest, a sense of peace drawing me into a dreamless sleep.

When I awoke, sunlight was pouring through the single window in the room. Otho’s chest rose and fell in even breaths beneath my ear.

It was the first time I’d ever seen him asleep.

Of course, we’d shared a tent during the journey, but he was always awake as I fell asleep, and gone from the tent before I awoke.

My eyes drifted to the tattoos on his pecks, the gentle swirls I’d always wondered about. Even knowing it would probably wake him, I reached a finger up and traced them lightly.

Sure enough, Otho’s breathing changed, and his chest shifted beneath my hands.

When I peered up, his gaze was fixated on me.

“What does this tattoo mean?” I asked.

He hummed. “Nothing really. I just thought—when I came of age—they would help hide some of my scars.”

I traced the prominent scar that cut right through it.

Otho scoffed, somehow hearing my thoughts. “I know; I neglected to think about the fact that I would accumulate more scars as a general.”

We both laughed at that.

Then, I felt his hands on my side. “Mine are nowhere near as beautiful as yours, though.”

I couldn’t stop the blush that spread across my cheeks. Prior to the night before, it had been almost a fortnight since I last thought about my tattoo—since the day Leif had asked me to use a potion to rid my skin of it.

Without thinking, I replied, “Well, when we find Collum you can ask her⁠—”

My cousin.

I jolted up in bed, narrowly missing elbowing Otho in the face. The pace of my breathing increased.

There was a hand on my back, gently caressing my spine. “I don’t have any information about her—about what happened to her after the battle. But as I mentioned before, I’d seen her in the dream world. I’ll show you where next time we are there. With luck, she’ll be there, too.”

I swallowed hard. I didn’t know how to tell him that I hadn’t gone to the dream space since meeting him in the forest. Which, if what he said was true, meant no one was thinking of me enough to call me there.

I shoved that painful thought aside.

Needing a distraction from my pounding heart, I reached for the vial on the bedside table, dumping the final three berries into my hands.

Otho watched me consume them with skepticism in his gaze but said nothing.

The silence between us was awkward, and not knowing what else to do, I rose and dressed. Otho did the same.

He was the first to break the silence. “I know why you do it, and I understand. But the bond . . . it’s angry that you’re hurting yourself.”

My lips twisted. I knew how he felt, but as I’d already explained, there was no other option. Not to mention the fact that I didn’t make decisions based on a bond⁠—

My stomach dropped.

I remembered the thought that had been hidden from me the night before—shrouded by my lust.

Leif had said that once those who were weighted had sex for the first time, the bond would change.

My hands shook, and my lungs constricted.