Page 59 of The Seeker

“Runa?” Otho’s voice sounded like it was coming through a long tunnel.

“We’re weighted, and now that we’ve had sex . . .” I finished the thought in my mind, the bond will change.

The answer drifted through my mind in a voice I would recognize anywhere.

“That it will.”

CHAPTER 19

Imust’ve passed out, because when I came to again, Otho was leaning over me, pressing something cool to my forehead.

“You’re okay; I’ve got you now,” he promised.

Everything that had been going through my mind came rushing back. “But . . . you’re . . . in my mind . . .”

Otho sat back, dropping his face into his hand. “I should have mentioned it before. I’m sorry, Runa.”

I couldn’t swallow over the lump in my throat. “What . . . how . . . ?”

He reached for my hand. “Let me help you into bed and I’ll explain everything.”

It was difficult to stand on legs that were shaking, and as much as I wanted to push Otho away—decline his help—there was no way I would have made it into bed without him. Once I was situated beneath the covers, he offered me the cool cloth again, but I pushed it away.

“Not until you tell me what you tricked me into.”

He shook his head, his dark hair askew. “It wasn’t a trick, Runa, I promise. I thought you knew what happened to weighteds when they had sex for the first time.”

“I didn’t know,” I snapped. “How could I?” My anger quickly evolved, and I pushed the blankets off my body, suddenly too warm. “You all, you keep so much from me! You assume I was told all the things you all were apparently told as children. My parents barely mentioned to us that we were Seid! I didn’t know the meetings I attended were coven meetings and I didn’t know any details about what I was learning to read until I was conscripted to Adis, and then . . . I was thrust into this world where everyone seems to know everything, and I’m . . . drowning, trying to keep up with you all!”

I knew my rant had veered off topic, that Otho hadn’t even attended coven meetings, but I didn’t care. All the emotions I’d been burying for months continued to bubble to the surface.

“I’m left learning everything on my own, usually after I’ve already done something I didn’t understand enough to consent to and I’m sick of it.” The anger had chased the shaking from my limbs enough that I was able to sit up in bed and swing my legs over the side to slip on my breeches, hastily reaching for my discarded shirt. “From now on, you better tell me everything before you touch me, meet me in the dream world, or say something that you assume I’ll understand.” I laced up my boots and stomped them on the wood floor for emphasis. “Now, tell me what the fuck happened when we had sex last night before I stomp all the way back to Signa.”

Otho sighed, and I could feel his exhaustion laced with desperation. “I’m sorry, Runa. You’re . . . you’re right. I forget that Cal, Friar, and I had our parents for much longer than you had yours. We know more, and I do need to stop assuming that you do, too.” He paused, reaching for me, but I took a step back, motioning for him to continue. “When the weighted have sex, they create a bond similar to magic—well, it is a magical bond, in essence. While we can feel where the other is without confirming this bond with sex, there are a few aspects of the weighted relationship that don’t exist until . . . well, until sex.”

I arched an eyebrow, my foot tapping on the floor impatiently.

“While our bodies are connected from the moment we meet, it isn’t until sex that our minds are connected, too. You can speak into mine, and I can speak into yours. It isn’t the same as mind reading—I can’t read all your thoughts, only the ones you project at me. That’s why the Seid go crazy for a pair of weighted . . . because they are a huge asset in battle and politics because we can communicate in a way others in the room can’t hear. But I can teach you how to tell when you’re projecting versus not projecting a thought, or if that’s not enough, you can sever it, the same way you severed the mind-reading magic the first time. Just . . .” He sighed and I could tell how much it was paining him to admit this. “Know you’ll have to sever it every time we have sex. But if you don’t want to have sex anymore for that reason, I understand.”

My heart warmed, and I knew Otho hadn’t purposely tried to conceal this aspect of being a weighted from me. But that still didn’t answer how he knew so much. I crinkled my nose. “Where did you learn so much about weighteds?”

“My parents were weighted,” he admitted, his voice so quiet I wasn’t sure I heard him at first.

“They were?” I don’t know why, but something about that caused hope to burst in my chest.

He nodded. “They loved to tell the story. Apparently, when they met, the connection was instant and the rest came easily.”

I frowned. “Must be nice.”

“I know,” he acknowledged, scouring the room. “I’ve got to purchase supplies. Why don’t you start packing? We will leave when I return.”

I sighed, tilting my head back. I wished we had time to get to know one another better, without constantly being distracted by politics, traveling, and war. I knew that one day we would have that, but I had to be patient—something I was good at. And I knew Otho, like me, was just trying to do what was best in a world that was a mess.

I couldn’t keep my gaze from his chiseled chest as he collected his rumpled white shirt from the floor.

Otho arched his eyebrow, and I arched one of mine right back before reaching for the bottom of my shirt. “Are you sure we don’t have a little more time?”

His eyes were following my movements, and I could feel his hesitation. “We probably shouldn’t keep the others waiting.” The volume of his voice lowered as he spoke, and I knew I was winning him over. I pulled my shirt over my head, watching as Otho’s eyes were immediately drawn to my exposed nipples.