Page 116 of Holding Onto Love

“The Earl of Iversley is Captain Taverston’s brother. You know that I’ve kept in touch with Henry’s commanding officer.” Vanessa tamped down her disquiet. She would say as little as possible. “Iversley and I…” She shrugged. “We were introduced…”

“And fell in love. Oh, Vanessa. It’s so romantic. Can I tell everyone? I don’t know that I can keep it to myself!”

Vanessa laughed, embarrassed and relieved. “Yes, please, tell everyone. I have to go…meet the rest of his family. We’re leaving today, so I won’t have time—”

“Oh!” Charlotte’s expression changed from ecstatic to crestfallen. “So soon? You won’t forget us, will you? You’ll come to visit? Will he allow it?”

“Of course, I’ll visit! Iversley will too.” Charlotte had led her to what she had truly come to say. “Only…oh, I’ll have to find someone to watch the place while I’m not here and keep it up, you know, a caretaker. The garden and everything… A young couple would be best, but I can’t imagine who would come all the way to Cartmel.”

“Nan! Nan and Bitter!”

“Do you think they would? It wouldn’t be too much of an imposition?”

Charlotte hemmed. “They couldn’t pay much rent.”

“Oh, no. No rent, Charlotte. Rather, I’m certain the earl would insist on paying them.” Vanessa saw Charlotte’s eyes scrunch up and worried the offer might offend. “For looking after the place.”

Charlotte burst into laughter. “I see what you’re doing. But it does seem to be the best for everyone, doesn’t it? Even me. Having Nan right next door when the baby comes…except I don’t want you to go!”

“I’ll visit. I promise.” She hugged Charlotte again.

She would write to Bitter to confirm the details. And to the Comptons. She wasn’t deserting them; they mustn’t think that. As for what they would think about her marrying Captain Taverston’s brother? She’d let them draw their own conclusions.

*

Later, Vanessa gazed across the gently rocking coach at her soon-to-be husband. Jasper was sleeping, managing to look peaceful and graceful while folded onto the not-quite-long-enough bench. He’d propped his head on a pillow of clothing, after taking time to redon his drawers. They’d made love amidst leather-and-velvet comfort, and he more than made up for his earlier haste.

As much as she adored watching him sleep—the occasional fluttering of his eyelids, the twitch of his arm, the half-smile curled on his bow-lips—dusk was deepening into night and the fear of highwaymen was beginning to nag at her. His outriders would keep them safe, of course, but she’d feel better if Jasper were clothed.

She cleared her throat loudly. Jasper stirred, then opened his eyes.

“Thank God,” he said, smiling. “You’re here. I feared I’d dreamed it all. Vanessa…” He stretched his hand out to her. “Sit with me.”

“Put your clothes on first.”

He laughed and unrolled the pillowed clothing. He pulled on the most wrinkled trousers he had surely ever worn and an equally wrinkled shirt that he did not bother to button before lying back down. He curled sideways, making space for her, so she slipped over to his bench.

“I missed you so much,” she admitted, trailing her fingers over his chest. He was not a hairy man but did have a thicket of dark blond curls that were soft to the touch.

“Thank you for giving me another chance.”

Next, they were kissing. And shifting about. Jasper lifted her on top of him but made no effort to raise her skirts. After kissing a good long while, she settled her head against his chest with a deep sigh.

“There’s something I need to tell you. Something important that I never could bring myself to speak of.” She had to tell him. And if it made a difference—better to know now.

“Go on.” He sounded wary. His hand stilled on her back. “I’m listening.”

“I-I’m looking forward to children. With you.” This was not how she meant to start. He stayed quiet. “It’s just that…in my heart…there’s another child. Henry’s baby. Henry’s and mine.”

Jasper raised her by the shoulders to look into her face.

“I’m so sorry, Vanessa. What happened?”

“I could not carry…him or her, I don’t even know. I miscarried. On the retreat to Corunna.”

He groaned and repeated, “I’m sorry.”

“It was the hardship,” she said hastily, nervously. “Lydia said I could have others.”