Page 95 of Holding Onto Love

“Crispin, you’re skin and bones! What’s wrong?”

His face tightened. “Nothing is wrong.” He stepped back and shook his head as though shaking off annoyance. “I had a touch of cholera. It went through the regiment. Three men died. While I got two months’ leave.”

“I’m so sorry.” Looking closer, she recognized he did look peaked.

“Well.” He shook his head again. “I’m not here to discuss my health.”

“I don’t suppose you are. Come in back. Would you like tea?”

“I would actually.”

He followed her and sprawled in one of the chairs while she went to the hearth and stirred the embers.

“It will be a bit before it’s ready. I’m sorry. I don’t leave the fire going when I’m out.”

She laid on a bit of fluff, blew on it, then fed in the kindling, mindful of Crispin’s eyes on her back. When the fire was burning well, she set the kettle over it and turned.

“You are a marvel, Vanessa.”

“Because I can start a fire?” She felt an ache, starting in her chest, that spread all the way to her toes.

“Among other things.” He patted the table. “Sit with me.”

“Would you like a bit of toast?”

“No. Sit with me.”

She pulled two teacups from her countertop and came to the table.

“All right, Crispin. Why have you come?”

“Do you miss him?”

“Of course, I miss him. But it doesn’t matter.”

“Vanessa, he is dying.”

She dropped the cups, fumbling one onto the table but the other fell to the floor and shattered.

“Dying inside, I should say,” he continued. “Outwardly, he’s hale enough.”

She sat heavily into her chair. “That was cruel. Cruel. Don’t try to manipulate me. I will not stand for it.”

“You still love him.”

“Crispin, this is unnecessary. Nothing has changed.” She rubbed the damp from her palms onto her skirt.

“Except that Jasper has finally come to his senses.”

“You told me once that you would not plead his case.”

“I told you once that he was your responsibility now.”

The words stabbed at her.

“That was a jest. Even if it was not, Jasper is a grown man. I am not responsible for his actions or his care.”

He chewed his lip. She could practically see him choosing tacks and then discarding them.