Page 96 of Holding Onto Love

“Just say what you want from me, Crispin.”

“I will. In a moment.” He drummed his fingers on the table. The kettle began to boil. “Tea?”

She rose to prepare it. Then brought the pot, another cup, and a small bowl of sugar to the table.

“It needs to steep,” she said, sitting back down.

“Just talk to him. Once.”

“No.”

“It cannot make things worse.”

It could. She wanted far too desperately to say yes. To see Jasper again? To talk to him? She would not have the strength to leave him twice. And fundamentally, nothing had changed.

She poured out weak tea and passed the sugar bowl to him.

“Charlotte would have offered honey. I prefer it now. But I only have sugar.”

He dropped a lump into his cup and swirled it.

“Take another for Mercury. You’ll wear that poor creature out.”

He smiled at her, took a handkerchief from inside his jacket, wrapped two lumps into it, then slipped it back. She waited for him to speak again, but he was waiting for her. She broke first.

“No, Crispin. I cannot.” I must not.

“Then I will play my last card.” He took her hand and squeezed it gently, somehow drawing her eyes to his. “Do it for me.”

She pulled her hand away.

“Crispin, don’t. I know how indebted I am to you—”

“No.” His eyes darkened. “Friends do not tally debts. I ask you, as a favor, to speak one last time to Jasper.”

She shook her head, tears filling her eyes.

“Vanessa.” He whispered her name, so gently her tears started to spill. “Vanessa, you know what my brothers mean to me. I cannot bear to see him hurting like this. Please.”

“Oh, God,” she said, half crying and half laughing. She told him he could not manipulate her, but he could. “I can’t win this.” She would talk to Jasper. It was, after all, what she wanted also.

He leaned back and rubbed the back of his hand across his eyes.

“Thank you, Vanessa. Thank you.”

“He can’t come here,” she said, clearing her throat. She stood again and found a napkin to wipe her eyes and blow her nose.

“London?”

“There are too many memories there.”

“All right.” He closed his eyes, then opened them. “Do you know where Binnings is? It’s not too very far.”

He surprised a gasp of laughter from her. Maybe he had planned this all since Corunna. “Now you will tell me you have a cottage there.”

He started. Good.

“I-I do.” He gave her a quizzical look, but she decided she would not say anything. Let him wonder for a change. “In fact, I sent Mercury to Binnings for stabling. I was planning to come see you regardless.”