Page 115 of Reforging Onyx

But wouldn’t screams be easier? Wouldn’t they make him feel like less of him was being stripped away? Maybe it would be better if Dominic had to force him, so he could deny his part in all of it.

No. He didn’t want pain. He didn’t want any of that.

At Dominic’s urging, Onyx had tried to let go in the past. He could do so again tonight, when Dominic was making it clear that the stakes were so very high. They’d negotiated for this. He…

“I don’t know if I can do this,” Onyx whispered, fear gripping him every bit as tightly as the growing arousal.

Dominic paused to look up and catch Onyx’s gaze, holding it captive. “Have I lied to you?” he asked softly. “I want only your pleasure. Close your eyes. Breathe. And feel.”

Onyx licked his lips, apprehension racing through him alongside the rest of the chaotic whirlwind of emotions he was feeling. No, Dominic hadn’t lied to him — that he knew of, anyway — and he had no reason to believe that this would be different.

He nodded, then closed his eyes, taking in a deep, shaky breath.

Feel. All he had to do was feel.

Feel, and react, and let Dominic see the way he was coming undone from acts that still left him feeling ashamed.

“Good,” Dominic murmured. He sucked Onyx’s cock into his mouth, taking him deep in a single motion.

Onyx had been on the verge of saying that he didn’t think he could do it when Dominic’s mouth closed around his cock. His entire body jerked as Dominic stroked the inside of Onyx’s thigh and pulled off of his cock, only to take him deep again, laving the underside with the flat of his tongue.

Onyx automatically bit back the sound that tried to escape him before remembering he wasn’t supposed to be holding them back. It felt good, impossibly so, so why was he still feeling such major anxiety at the idea of letting Dominic see it?

Because that handed Dominic a weapon, something to hold over him. As long as Dominic brought Onyx pleasure, he thought that he could do anything he wanted to and acted as though it was fine because it felt good for Onyx. It went beyond that, though, and he didn’t know how to explain the disconnect.

He let the next sound escape him as Dominic pulled back again, though it was muted. The cry that escaped him when he took him next was loud in the room, and he loathed himself for it as he tugged at the chains.

The fear wouldn’t abate, but the pleasure threatened to drown it.

He could only hope it would.

Dominic hummed approvingly, using his hands and his mouth to bring Onyx close to the edge. The sounds spilling from Onyx’s lips were hesitant, restrained, as he tumbled closer to his climax. It was right on the horizon, promising an end to this, only for it to be swept out from in front of him when Dominic pulled back before taking him there again.

The fear that had been dwindling surged back to the surface, and his eyes widened as he looked down at Dominic. Was he going to edge him like this? Take him back to that place where he tortured him with his pleasure as much as the pain?

Could he stand it?

“Dom… Dominic…” Onyx whispered, and he was mortified to feel tears gathering in the corners of his eyes.

“Hmm?” Dominic pulled back off of his cock again.

“Please don’t,” he whispered. He blinked several times, trying to clear his vision.

Why was it affecting him like this? It wasn’t like Dominic was torturing him; people would just consider this teasing, a natural part of sex, wouldn’t they? But they hadn’t dealt with what he had, and the shadows of memories threatened to overshadow him, clawing at him from the inside out.

Dominic sat up some and reached for the container of lube, squirting some out into his hands. One hand went to Onyx’s cock, wrapping around him and starting to stroke while the other dipped to press a finger against his hole.

Onyx writhed beneath the touches, but it began to feel claustrophobic; his pleasure was Dominic’s, all Dominic’s, and the sounds that spilled from him were as desperate as they were aroused. He whined and whimpered, but he felt more like a trapped animal than someone in the throes of passion.

He didn’t think he could do this.

But he couldn’t say no.

Dominic.

His lips formed the word, but he didn’t dare say it, didn’t dare draw further attention to himself and his growing panic even as Dominic’s finger pressed against his hole and began to penetrate him.

“Shh,” Dominic soothed as his finger pressed farther into Onyx’s tight hole. “You’ll come once on my fingers—” He gave Onyx’s cock a long, firm stroke. “—then again on the toy. You’ll sing so sweetly for me. And we’ll both get what we need.”