Page 116 of Reforging Onyx

Onyx couldn’t even say why he was starting to panic. He only knew that he was, and that the entire thing felt out of his grasp. Maybe it was knowing more about Dominic, that he was doing his best not to simply take everything he wanted; maybe it was just thoughts and memories clouding his mind. He wasn’t sure. All he knew was that the fear tugged at him like he was at the end of a puppeteer’s strings.

“I—” he croaked out. “I need… Please, I don’t…”

He didn’t want to ask.

So badly, he did not want to ask.

If he’d realized he’d react this way, he would’ve negotiated for something more, something bigger, something better than a few hours in the garden.

“What do you need, my tiger?” Dominic purred, his finger brushing over Onyx’s prostate. “Tell me.”

Onyx cried out, pleasure lancing through him as Dominic’s fingers worked him over. But it was so much, too much, and he…

He didn’t know how to handle this.

He knew what Dominic wanted; Dominic had told him. It should’ve been easy. Display the evidence of his pleasure. That was all.

So why was it getting to him like this?

Why couldn’t he just lie back and enjoy it? Onyx was getting so much pleasure at the mouth and hands of Dominic fucking Bancroft; no one would believe him if he tried to tell them that the sadist enjoyed doing the sorts of things he did.

He should’ve enjoyed it, should’ve been smug, or something.

Why was he so broken?

“I need help,” Onyx whispered helplessly.

Dominic hummed softly. The sound was inquisitive… and a touch predatory. “Tell me, Onyx,” he murmured. “What help do you need?”

Onyx swallowed hard, not looking at Dominic. This shouldn’t have been anything new; he knew what Dominic was, and he’d have had the scars to prove it if it hadn’t been for the vampire blood Dominic had gotten him addicted to.

But it was one thing to know on an academic level that Dominic was a psychopath; it was another to experience the monster looking at him like this for potentially the first time since everything had changed.

He felt like he was seeing something that Dominic kept under tight control, and he didn’t like it. He didn’t want to be aware during this.

Everything was supposed to be different.

But it was dangerously close to what he’d known before. Too close.

“P-potion,” he choked out. “Please. Just a little.”

Dominic stilled, sucking in a startled breath that he held for a moment before letting it out in a groan of pleasure. “Do I get to have you again, my tiger?” He paused for a brief moment. “You can say no, though I would prefer that you not.”

Onyx’s despair broke upon the shoreline, and he was momentarily lost beneath the undertow.

Even if Dominic said he could say no, he was skirting a fine line, but if he said yes… it would potentially be longer before he had to deal with it again.

Except now that he’d done it once, it seemed like it was on the table, and he didn’t want that to be the case.

“Why are you giving me a choice?” Onyx asked, the tears threatening to fall again.

“I want you willing in my bed, my sweet tiger,” Dominic murmured. “As much as you can be. Forcing that on you at this time does not further that.” He sat back, his hands leaving Onyx’s body, though his gaze was no less intently focused on his face.

It would’ve been easier if Dominic had forced this, any of this. He could’ve hated him more, and he wanted to hate him more, but Dominic was playing games Onyx couldn’t even begin to understand. Like witch politics, this was beyond him. He knew only that Dominic had a goal and a strategy, and he would do what he thought he needed to in order to achieve that goal.

Onyx had thought that the end game had simply been to get to his ass, but that was wrong. And in retrospect, that had been a stupid thing to think. Of course it was more; of course it went deeper.

He didn’t want to think about what that something might be. He needed to drown it out.