Page 102 of Not Safe for Work

I decided to bow out of the interview with EnviroTech, tentatively hopeful after my golf game with Diane. I’ve given five years of my life to this place, and if I’m chosen, then I think I owe it to myself to see this through. Maybe it’s a signal that things could change for me at WMC.

“Thanks for inviting me,” Rafe says after we’ve finished our scrumptious dinner. We’ve spent the day on the water, cruising past islands, swimming in lagoons, and eating to our hearts’ content.

“Well, we really like Tris, and you two appear to be attached at the hip these days. It wouldn’t have been right to leave you behind,” Gabrielle says, and everyone laughs.

“I really like her too,” Rafe says, and my entire body goes warm at the inflection in his voice. Lan and Gabrielle do that thing where they tilt their heads and make swoony eyes. I scoop out an ice cube from my glass of water and toss it at Gabrielle. She screeches when it lands on her lap.

“Stop that,” I say, trying to redirect the conversation. “What about you? You seem to have formed a happy little club of two.”

Lan and Gabrielle exchange a shy glance that brings a smile to my face.

“We’re planning to try it long distance and see how things go,” Lan says as they fold their hands together, fingers entwined on the table. “We’ll do weekends in either New York, depending on the training program, Seattle, or Florida and maybe meet somewhere in the middle sometimes.”

“Ooh, how about Chicago?” I suggest, and they both beam at me.

“We were hoping you’d say that,” Gabrielle says. I let out a squeal of delight and clap my hands. “Assuming you’re there of course.”

“It would be amazing if we were all in New York, too. We can go on double dates!” Lan exclaims. “But you still have to tell us, where does one go for dessert in Chicago?”

Rafe rattles off some of his favorite restaurants, insisting they must try Chicago’s most famous strawberry cheesecake. As they quiz him about the best places for cupcakes and pastries and milkshakes, I begin spiraling. We have one day left. After that, we’ll get on a plane and return home.

Until this moment, I hadn’t really considered what would happen if I ended up in New York for a year. Before my conversation with Diane, it had never seemed like a possibility. Rafe doesn’t want to work for WMC, so would he even take the spot if he gets it like I suspect?

I hadn’t given much thought to what happened after this, because I’d convinced myself this would be over once we left this place. But now, I can’t help but weigh the possibilities. We could end up in different cities, and I couldn’t ever have another relationship where I wouldn’t see him half the time, but we could also end up in New York together, and that could mean I’d be forced to finally reconcile with my fears.

Panic swells in my gut as I consider every side.

“Wanna go for a swim?” Lan asks. “The captain said this is a nice calm spot.”

Everyone is looking at me. I’ve gone off into my head again. I give it a shake.

“I’m good, thanks.”

I need some space. I’m going to throw up. I shove my chair back and head for the front of the boat, where I climb onto the bow’s sun pad, tilting my face to the warm sunlight filtering from the sky.

I’m there for a few minutes when I feel someone behind me.

“Mind if I join you?” Rafe asks, holding two small plates topped with coconut tarts. I peer over at him. His feet are bare, and the cuffs of his navy pants are rolled up. His thin white shirt is buttoned only partway, and the wind buffets against it, exposing the taut planes of his bronzed stomach and chest. He’s so beautiful it makes my throat hurt.

“Since you brought dessert, sure,” I say, trying to fluff up my tone, but it comes out wrong. He sits cross-legged with his knee pressed against my thigh and sets the plates down.

“You okay?” he asks. “You got up very suddenly back there.”

I’m not sure I can tell him the entire truth, so I settle for a partial one. “I’m a little brokenhearted about having to leave all this and go back home. It’s so lovely here.” I sweep out a hand to encompass the pristine blue water and the emerald-green mountains casting afternoon shadows over the boat.

“It’s been pretty spectacular,” Rafe agrees, but he’s not looking at the scenery. He’s studying me so intensely that I swallow a thick knot in my throat.

He presses a kiss to my shoulder. “I meant what I said back there, Tris. I really like you.”

Dark brown eyes reflect in a golden ray of sunlight as Rafe watches me, expectant and… hopeful? I’m not sure what to do with the tight ball of emotion expanding in my chest.

“I really like you too,” I say, and the words feel like a confession and a vow.

A smile crosses Rafe’s face. This is a brand-new one. This one is brighter and more beautiful than all the rest combined. I study that smile, committing it to my growing library, worried this will be the one and only time I see it.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Do you know that until last week, you’d never smiled at me before?”