Page 70 of One Last Thing Before You Go

The entire day, I’ve watched her in awe. Eyes bright, shoulders back, commanding respect and attention from everyone around without even having to say a word. It’s inspiring, and admirable. Most of all, it’s sexy as fuck.

“You going home already?” I ask as she shuts down the office computer.

She smirks, shoving some folders into her purse. “It is closing time, after all.”

“Yeah, but as that song goes, we don’t have to go home; we just can’t stay here.” She throws her head back and laughs, giving me a look.

“Aren’t you a little young to know what that song is?”

I repress the urge to wince. “C’mon. What’re your plans for tonight?”

“You want the truth?”

“Always.”

She grimaces a little. “I was going to go home and read something spicy on my e-reader, but I guess that plan is shot to hell now, isn’t it? Thief.” She smiles.

“You want it back? I’ll give it back to you right now if you want.” A small part of me falls, regretting the offer. I kind of liked looking into her collection, a little piece of her soul, always giving me hope for something more.

She considers my offer for a second and shakes her head. “You can keep it a little longer, so long as you’re actually using it.”

“Oh, I plan to use it alright.” I smirk smugly, not wanting to tell her just how much I’ve been able to get through. I’m not a fast reader by any means, but I suddenly found myself getting sucked into these stories, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to read a couple more.

“So what are you up to, then, now that some evil person has taken away your e-reader?”

“I guess I’m just going to have to find someone to do all those things in real life. Keep me occupied.” She smiles and walks out the front door, leaving me slack-jawed.

I don’t hesitate to follow her.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

LOTTIE

Knox drives to my place in loaded silence, the tension in the car palpable. Over the past couple of days, things have been easy between us. I’ve felt giddy and light, giggling like a schoolgirl whenever he catches me looking at him or vice versa. My mind has been in a half-daze, getting lost in flashbacks of happy moments with him—a never-ending dose of serotonin boost. He’s taken to finding any excuse to subtly touch me, to graze his fingers over my heated skin with the lightest of touches, driving me mad. Always subtle enough that no one notices (I hope), but electrifying enough that, by the end of day, the need for him has been built to impossible proportions, necessitating immediate relief and therefore requiring us to stay at his place.

But tonight is different, and it’s only when we hit my street that reality sets in, and I begin to actually panic: he’s coming home with me tonight. Like, to sleep over. And I know that we’ve been doing more than that for the last couple of days, but it’s always been at his loft—never at mine. And though I’ve dated in the years since my divorce, I’ve never brought a man back home—and this would be the second time I’d be doing so with Knox. Except the assumption is that, unlike the time after the convention, he’d actually be sleeping over tonight.

Until recently, I’d been strict about the boundaries I put in place in my dating life (i.e. don’t have one), but he was able to knock them down fairly easily. Looking back on it, I feel like I never stood a chance against his charms. I try to tell myself that it’s okay to indulge and succumb to the sort of connection and chemistry that we share because it won’t be permanent. But I feel the danger that comes with it; its bitter taste coats my tongue. Knox is such an incredible guy, engaging in this kind of casual relationship feels like tempting Fate.

My stomach turns as I contemplate ending this now, just as I’m beginning to grow attached. But then I turn to look at him, a soft smile permanently plastered on his handsome face, and I can’t help the way my chest tightens, my heart aches. Even in the dim light of the car, he’s still the most handsome man I’ve ever seen in my entire life. And the sweetest I’ve ever met.

He parks at the curb in front of the house, pulling me away from my overthinking and back to this moment. Knox turns the engine off, but doesn’t make a move to get out of the car. Instead, he keeps his eyes straight ahead. “If you’ve changed your mind,” he starts, voice low and soft. “That’s okay, too. I was happy to drive you. Any time we spend together…” He shrugs bashfully, finally turning to gaze at me with those perfect blue eyes of his, navy in the darkness.

“I…” But I let the sentence die.

“I don’t want you to feel pressured. Even though the past week has been incredible, I want you to know that I don’t… I don’t expect anything. I hope you know you can always say no. Would it be nice to go upstairs right now and have mind-blowing sex again? Yes. Have I fantasized about fucking you on every available surface of your apartment since being there? Absolutely.” We both laugh a little. “But, in all seriousness, if all I get tonight is a kiss on the cheek and a smile from you, I’d still feel like the luckiest guy in this town.”

I can’t help the stupid grin that spreads across my face or the way my heart races and jumps and does a whole track and field event in my chest at his words.

He says all the right things. He does all the right things. And maybe that’s wrong.

“I—I am really tired…” And sore. So damn sore. I had forgotten how sex can hurt with endo. For the most part, I’d been able to power through our adventurous nights—it had been that good. But as I squirm in my seat, I can’t deny that while half of my body is craving another night with him, the other is begging for a break. Because Knox is big. “I have this weird health thing… And I’m fine, but I still… And I just don’t think that…” I stop myself before getting into it.

I see him wanting to ask more personal questions, to push. But past experience has taught him not to—especially not when it comes to my health. Not after the last time he was at my apartment.

His hand comes over mine on my lap, squeezing it encouragingly. “Hey.” He brings it to his lips and kisses the back of it lightly. And just that gesture of reassurance, the fact that he can read that I need him, even though I’m scared of losing him, tells me so much about Knox. About us.

I swallow once and squeeze his hand back. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll see you tomorrow at work?” He kisses my hand once more before letting it drop softly on my thigh.