Page 71 of One Last Thing Before You Go

Suppressing a sigh, I regret the loss of contact instantly. Because I don’t want to be without him tonight—not really. And I don’t care if he sleeps over. I just want to be with him, sex or no sex. And isn’t it the whole point of this arrangement? We’re together until we’re not?

So I shove my fears and insecurities down my shadow self’s throat and ask, “Dinner?”

“Sure.” The way his face lights up once the question is out of my mouth has the panic creeping up once more. Again, though, I push it back down. “When?”

“Now,” I say, before losing any ounce of courage I can dream of having.

“Now? I thought—” He cuts himself off and shakes his head. “You know what? I’m not gonna question it. I’m just gonna get out of the car before you change your mind.”

I laugh halfheartedly and watch as he pulls his camera bag from the back seat. He gets out of the truck and slings it over his shoulder. A wide grin on his face, he opens my door and helps me down, shutting it behind me. With gentle pressure, he places a kiss on my forehead— one that paralyzes my lungs, makes it so difficult to breathe. I lean into him just a bit as my entire body shivers in pleasure.

When he notices, he whispers against my temple, lips grazing my suddenly heated skin.

“You’re cold.”

I open my mouth to tell him it’s the opposite, that I’m blazing hot because just his proximity has me on overdrive, when he takes his jacket off and slips it over my shoulders. And I melt, because the feeling of being wrapped in his leather jacket is second only to the feeling of being wrapped in his arms. I don’t ever want to give it back.

“Thank god you didn’t send me away, Pretty Girl. It would’ve broken my heart.” He smiles, wrapping his arms around my waist.

Are people in casual relationships supposed to be talking about broken hearts like this? Isn’t the whole point to keep things separate? But as I run my hands over his chest, I know that, at least in this exact moment, I don’t care.

I slide both hands over Knox, feeling him beneath my palms, recognizing every ridge and valley there—every single inch. Just like he’s discovered mine. Over the past couple of days, we’ve become a topographical experts of each other; masters of each other’s bodies in a way I didn’t know could be possible.

But it isn’t just that. This thing between us isn’t just sex. It’s everything. It’s the way he takes care of me in ways I didn’t even know I needed or wanted. It’s the way I love to be teased by him in public and the way I feel I can let myself go in private. He knows me, we know each other—and there isn’t a thing I would change about him. Though I’m sure he wouldn’t say the same about me, if he knew all of it.

Though it shouldn’t matter, should it? Not if it’s casual.

God, I’m starting to really hate that word.

I inhale deeply, letting his signature scent fill me up and weaken my knees. He pulls me tighter into him, holding me up against his body. He cups my face with his right hand, tilting it back so I can meet his eyes. “You’re incredible, you know that?” Knox whispers, eyes never leaving mine.

I open my mouth to reply, to ask him how I’m ever supposed to say goodbye to him, to tell him we should probably stop, call this whole thing off before it’s too late and— Alejandro’s front door slams loudly, pulling us immediately off each other. Knox and I turn to find my brother standing on his front porch, Cindy, my baby niece on his hip.

“What’re you doing outside, lurking like that?” he barks.

“Lurking?” I push away from Knox, placing my hands on my hips.

“Lurking.”

“I’m not lurking. I’m just standing here, having a conversation. You’re the one lurking in the shadows like a creep, you lurker.”

“This is my house.” He points at his chest, reminding me once again that my place isn’t really my place, is it? I live above my brother’s garage. God. “I came outside to check out the couple of weirdos who were standing outside in the dark in front of it.”

I sigh, trying to ignore how adorable my little niece looks struggling against my brother’s hold as she reaches out to me. Not able to help the massive—and smug—grin on my face, I walk over to the front porch and take her from him. “We were just talking. But don’t worry—I’m done bothering you and will hopefully soon be off your property.”

I’ll be in New York again, soon. I’ll be out of this stupid town, and back where I belong.

Alejandro’s face immediately softens, guilty eyes on my hurt ones. “Come on. You know that’s not what I meant.”

“I know,” I smile, kissing Cindy on the cheek before returning her to him. “But still. We’re headed up to the loft now anyway.”

The front door opens again, and my sister-in-law pops her head out. “What’s up? I thought we were—Oh.” A slow smirk spreads across Bonnie’s face, her eyes bouncing between me and Knox.

“Hey there, Knox,” she sing-songs, wiggling her eyebrows at me.

I suppress a groan, realizing now that the last time I saw Bonnie was the night of my stupid uterus’s goodbye party, which ended with a blowout and a discussion on my emotional capacity to fuck Knox with no strings attached. Kind of.

“I haven’t seen you since the bookstore party.”